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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am choosing private because I went to an elite college, and the students from good privates did much better and had an easier time at college than me, largely because of my lackluster secondary education.

If I felt public was preparing them adequately, I would have no problem with it, but they spend so much of their time doing remedial work and sitting in the classroom board and idle waiting for other kids to finish.  And this was before the pandemic.[/quote]

Hmm, I had this same experience coming from a public to an elite school. My public was super crappy though and I don't know that the ones around here are as bad.

However, I was able to catch up Freshman year. I went to the writing center for help, I retook calc, and had a tutor this time to actually learn it. I went to office hours, which professors tend to love. It was extra work and I had to be self motivated but it was also very doable as long as you are willing to put the work in.

I ended up graduating with a 3.92 GPA so in the end it wasn't that bad.

I don't think it's worth 50k a year + just to spare your kid this extra work freshman year if you don't have that kind of money.[/quote]

I worked very hard but it was almost impossible to make up for that (it comes down to the fact you are probably smarter than me), and these are my kids so I suspect they are about as dumb as me!

One key thing was I was too embarrassed to go to office hours and waste my professors time because I felt so profoundly behind. [b]I felt it was fine if you had a specific question, but if they had to re-teach the lesson they would figure out I didn’t belong. This may have been imposter syndrome or true incompetence, leave it as exercise for the reader. [/b]

I did a technical major and had some successes, but in the end my grades were lackluster. [/quote]

PP here. I did it for both. Especially after I realized how much these people love it and will favor you for special programs or awards. I asked my econ professor one question that he said he had never considered before and it ended up with him recommending me for a full scholarship for an MBA (which I very stupidly didn't take). I once wrote a whole paper on the wrong topic but the professor knew me from office hours and said he was so impressed by it that he gave me full marks anyway, lol. I had another professor who said she'd edit papers for you if you submitted them early, probably something she'd offer because no one ever did. Well I did and she was a tough grader so I kept submitting. I think she eventually gave me an A just to get rid of me, lol. I ended up getting an award from the department and I don't think it's because I was the best student. But I was probably one of the harder working ones.

My point is, what I learned from all that, is that people really like it when you show a genuine interest in their work, when they can see that you are trying hard, and they are more likely to reward people they know then people they don't. Perseverance and effort pay off.[/quote]

This is a funny story but to me it is depressing that it underlines how much success in life is determined by personal connections. It’s who you know, you it what you know.[/quote]

Omg. I did not get that from the PP’s story at all!   PP just was persistent and hard working.  Those weren’t “connections”!  Connections are Daddy’s law partner knows the CEO at CNN and got you the entry level job.  This is not that. Don’t confuse hard work and determination for privilege Well earned PPP!  
You are the type of person I hope my kid turns out to be, lots of grit.  Love your story. [/quote]

Did you read the part where the Econ professor got her a scholarship to an mba program just because she asked a supposedly interesting question? That’s weird.[/quote]

It's really not.  Professors who have been teaching the same subject probably don't encounter that many kids who really challenge them to think about something new.  One of my law school professors noted in a clerkship recommendation that I asked him a civil procedure question he had never contemplated.  A mathematics professor in undergrad went out of the way to show the class when I solved a problem in a way he had never seen.  In neither case was I the best student in the class, but both professors found the new approaches notable and recommended me based on it.[/quote]

Wow, those two PPs are AMAZING. Far from best students, but have ground breaking insights in law, math, and econ. [/quote]

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