Reply to Help me untangle feelings about SIL

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would find it very annoying if someone 'advised' me how to play with my kid, unless I had asked for advice and ideas. You have a great game in mind? Feel free to engage and play with my child yourself.

Also, I don't like the people who shove an endless stream of gifts on you at every possible occasion, with the expectation that we should praise them for their 'generosity' and 'thoughtfulness' in return. [/quote]

[b]I feel bad for the person who is wasting their kindness on you.[/b] Yeah, what a PITA to be gracious and say thank you, because it makes the other person feel good. Basic kindness is just so tiresome. [/quote]

It is not "kindness" to send people clutter they don't want or need, just because it makes YOU (the gift giver) feel better. I agree that OP's SIL should be gracious and say thank you, but if she has already expressed that gifts are not necessary, then OP should respect that and stop expecting others to flatter their compulsion.

[/quote]

This exactly. OP's real motives are to be given attention, appreciation, and inclusion in a family as she does not have one of her own. Instead of adapting to the social cues and direct asks she's been given, she's wallowing in her "tangled feelings." [b]Unwanted gifts are burdens. Unwanted advice is obnoxious. Full stop.[/b][/quote]

This!

A child is a person and it is a process of choosing form all the world has to offer to HOW the parents want to raise a kid, and this is million of small things that they let into a Childs life. NOT every parent wants just ANY crap just because it is given and free.

Just lately someone on DCUM was complaining they gifted a video game to a teen who never had one
and the parents were  NOT happy about it.

Hell YEAH!. If the kid did not have it they surely did not want it in the kid's life. And every gift
has an impact on a child.

So back off a little and truly follow their lead, don't try to parent their kid from behind.

If you want to give something to my child, ask. If  you buy something, I will decide if t his goes to charity or into the child's hand. I tis not automated process , you give, I pass on.[/quote]

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