Reply to Lonely, Empty Marriage After Dead MIL

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[quote=Anonymous]I reported the gotcha bully and every post that was derailing this.

OP, I feel for you.  It's a tough situation.

I was surprised when you said you stopped couples therapy because husband was spinning web of lies.  I guess I think that's where he's staerting-  those are the things he believes.  So you have to go into therapy to come to a mutual understanding of your life together.  It would take time for him to get there.  I think couples therapy is not a terrible idea, but it would take a LONG time.

During that time, you can start making your plans..  Those plans should include individual therapy.  If nothing else, figuring out how to drop the anger at your husband would be productive.  It's warranted, but just like the bully, it does you no good to stew about his lies 8 years ago.  That happened, and here's where you are.

I am also curious why DH still wants to be married to you.  There must be something there.  And like another asked, what kind of daad is he?  Does he actively love his kids?  (how is he when he is around his family?).  Does he coach soccer or whatever and help with special needs kid?

If you got pregnant quickly, and have bene together about 8 years, your kids are roughly 7 or so.  I'd imagine 12 or som might be enough for kids to be able to understand what is going on and express their own preferences for custody.

so, I'd advise a 5 year plan. Can you tough this out for 5 years?  What do you need to do to make it for 5 years and be in a good position to divorce at that point.   stick to that.  [/quote]

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