Reply to Lonely, Empty Marriage After Dead MIL

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm curious about this too. Is there a path back from this situation? My wife and I are in a vaguely comparable situation. We had our problems before the pandemic. I wouldn't say things took a turn during the pandemic- I might be more accurate to say it accelerated and emphasized the feelings of resentment.

It's probably fair to say we function more as co-parenting roommates than a married couple. Things are usually relatively civil, but I'm not sure either one of us really likes each other. We get what we need to do with the kids ready for daycare in the morning, and bed at night, and then mostly go our separate ways once they're asleep. We tried marriage counseling for a while, but found it unhelp, perhaps even counterproductive.

We talk about divorce a bit. My wife dismisses it quite quickly. I'm not sure if she think I'm serious. And to a certain extent, I'm not sure I am, either. As bad as the marriage itself is, it seems fairly likely that life as a whole would get worse with a divorce, between the kids, finances, and general logistics of life.

The pandemic certainly didn't help, but I don't see our problems going away post-pandemic either. Is this the typical path of people that stay together another 10-15 years until the kids are out of the house?[/quote]
OP here. I’m sorry you’re in a similar position. What created your resentment? Do you think coparenting as divorced parents could work with your wife or would leaving the kids with her half the time likely be bad for them? [/quote]

So, having read more of your posts, the underlying issues are very different. I don't think there's the same level of anger (and perhaps hate?) that you are experiencing.

A lot of it comes down to the division of parenting responsibilities, exacerbated by our respective jobs. We have a child with special needs, which is an incredible amount of work during normal times, but has been even harder with schools being closed. It escalates from there, with both of us believing the other one isn't willing to make sacrifices for the each other or the family.

I simply don't know how either of us would be able to deal with the kids if we were divorced. Therapies are expensive and time consuming.  We're struggling immensely with two of us- it would be nearly impossible if we were apart. And I don't know we'd afford it.[/quote]

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