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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Black woman with white DH.  Sister, I am going to tell you the truth that will be hard to hear: you cannot leave anytime soon. The cultural dislocation, loss of control over whom they see or don't see. What if your DH marries a racist woman of whom his family approves? Your kids will be eaten alive.  When we married outside the race we gave ourselves a higher burden and a greater responsibility to stick by the father of our kids for their well-being.  I feel you fully on not wanting to stay with your DH for excellent reason but if he wants to stay married you should make a 5-year plan that prominently features whatever it takes to get you through to the next stage -- self-care of any effective kind, therapy for you, developing more of those close friendships that bring you through tough times because you are stuck in the war zone for at least a few years.  I wish you all the best.[/quote]
OP here. Thanks for sharing this take. It makes me want to lay down and cry all day, but I honestly think the divorce lawyer I hired was tiptoeing in the direction of saying this without saying it. You’re right that I probably need to shore up internal and external resources that will help me make peace with what putting my kids first looks like in this situation right now.[/quote]

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