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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
No. She is bothered by it.  She just won't tell you because you wouldn't come anyway.  [/quote]

Not sure I understand the negativity directed at my post, but whatever.

My sister has told me she understands.  Because - again - her coming here means that she gets to see our parents, brother, nieces and nephews and everybody at once.  I've gone to visit my sis in NYC without the kids as well.  I just haven't done it with kids and - she says she completely understands.

But maybe I should believe some anonymous poster who doesn't know jack over what my sister has told me.  Yeah...I'll go ahead and do that b/c you seem to have an amazing insight into her feelings and my behavior...[/quote]

I don't think this poster was really targeting you specifically, since she doesn't know your circumstances, but rather the fact that statements like this are pervasive from parents.  I now always tell my friends and my sister that it doesn't bother me that I come to see them, they never come to see me, I haven't spent a holiday at my own house in years, etc. But, the truth is that it bugs the hell out of me. I don't bother mentioning it because I don't care to hear their inevitable argument about how they are just too tired, busy, broke to make it work and how if I had kids I would totally understand this.  Since, of course, it never occurs to them that the fact that I don't have kids is the very reason I feel emotionally vulnerable and could use a little tlc.   If I want to see people, I suck it up and make the effort.  But, I am allowed to resent it.  Being a parent is an excuse for being a little self-centerd, not a justification for why your behaviour isn't really self-centered at all. [/quote]

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