Reply to My mother keeps saying that she wants a divorce

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Reply to "My mother keeps saying that she wants a divorce"

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[quote=Anonymous]Hey OP, just wanted to chime in with some support. I also grew up in a house scarred by domestic violence, my mother failed to protect us and was in serious denial about the abuse as they got older - like she wanted to pretend it hadn’t happened for all those years. As they got older and my father got more unpredictably volatile related to depression and dementia, I had to pull away because my mother refused to get or accept help, and I couldn’t force her to -nobody can, a woman has to want to leave you can’t make her.

You need to make it clear to her that you are there for her when she decides to leave and needs help with logistics and loving support. Then tell her that while things remain as they are, you’re not coming around and your children won’t be either - because you don’t want them to be in a situation that normalizes family violence, and you don’t want them to be victimized by witnessing the abuse of their beloved grandmother.

It’s an awful situation all around. The more volatile your father becomes, the more likely he will really hurt your mother. But statistically she is at even greater danger if she leaves, so it is a no win situation - especially if she is adamant she won’t leave. So you need to protect yourself and your kids. Break the cycle.[/quote]

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