Reply to Feeling sad that daughter seems to be gay

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You need to reframe your way of thinking.

When your 1st child was born you did not know how to breasfeed, sleep train, deal with illness and fevers, teething... you had to learn all that. YOu bought books or watched videos or asked friend... or asked a therapist, this is not different

Just because you daughter is 17 does not mean you have all the answers and you never did.

Be prepared for your daughter to not "come out", maybe she will just introduce you to her girlfriend one day without some declaration, just like she would a boy.

Stop thinking that dating a girl is more complicated, it's not. You would be dealing with just as many issues if she were dating a boy... pregnancy, rape, verbal abuse, breakups, etc. She was not just going to magically find the greatest guy on earth the 1st guy she dated and everything was going to be peachy keen.

When she finally "comes out" or introduces you to her girlfriends I would just say this.

I have been leaning how to be a good mom since the moment you were born, I have been learning, how to breastfeed, sleep train, everything, and I'm still learning. Dating today is very different than when I was your age. Please be patient. The language is different and how dating works is different and we did not have social media.  You and I will be leaning all this together. Please be honest with me when I am not being the best mom because I really do want to learn and be the best mom I can be. I will try not to take it personally when you correct me and I hope you don't take it personally when I mess up. I love you and I'm just trying to grow and evolve every day, it never ends. I love you and I'm happy you found somebody that cares about you and make you feel special.

[/quote]

Why in the world would you say all of that.  It is such a sign of disapproval.  I'm learning.  Dating is different.  That is the message that will be received.  [/quote]

I say all that to all of my kids straight/gay/bi/pan/etc.

I would not say it in one big speech I expect you guys talk to your kids daily.

I am constantly talking... about dating, birth control, drinking, getting jobs, getting internships, getting into college, STIs.

Hey listen it's very different now than it was when I was your age, you and I can figure this out together.

My one child said to me recently what is he/they... I was like " I don't know". Then my other child was like, you two are so behind the times... and he explained it.

Open/honest

You don't know all the answers. We have dealt with many issues, like STI, which ended up actually being a conversation about washing your towel at college more than once a month.

You don't have to have all the answers. If you think you understand dating for a straight or &lt;fill in the blank&gt; kid in 2021, you are wrong. [/quote]

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