Reply to Feeling sad that daughter seems to be gay

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[quote=Anonymous]I am gay and understand why you might be feeling this way--but as I'm sure you realize, your sadness is because of stories and wishes that were yours alone and really have nothing to do with your kid. She didn't ask you to make her a character in the stories you told yourself about your future. She is going to write her own story and it is going to differ in so many ways from what you might have imagined--dating a woman, if she is doing that, is just going to be one.

3/4 kids in my family are some variety of LGBT (and the 4th is in an interracial/interfaith marriage which is challenging in its own ways!). It's been a lot for our parents to come to terms with and I'd say they are further along with accepting some of us than others. But we all have long-term partners or spouses, good jobs, friends, etc. Our lives are mostly happy and to the extent they aren't, it's not because of LGBT stuff.

Tell your kid you love her. Be nice to anyone she brings home. Deal with your feelings about your expectations without putting that on her--PFLAG might help. I kind of hate the story "Welcome to Holland" for parents of kids with disabilities, but maybe reading it will give you some comfort about having a queer kid (if you do) and how it might be different than you expected but still ok.[/quote]

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