Reply to Feeling sad that daughter seems to be gay

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thanks for all the thoughtful replies. I guess what disappoints me is that I always imagined one day she would find a loving husband and would one day have a traditional family of her own. I looked forward to attending her wedding, and watching her marry her groom, and adding a son-in-law to the family (all my children are girls). I realize of course lesbian couples can marry and have children. But I feel society still attaches some stigma to these family structures and doesn’t perceive then as fully “normal.” So as much as I want to be supportive - and I will fake it if I have to - the truth is, I’m feeling sad. [/quote]

OP, I think that disappointment may be a normal reaction. My best friend is a lesbian. Her mother and my mother were close friends. Her mother was incredibly loving and as supportive as she could possible be. She did, however, express sadness and loss in not seeing her daughter in the traditional role that she had envisioned. Her daughter went on to marry her same sex partner and she, of course, supported them both. It was definitely a years long process of accepting the new reality, as I'm sure that it will be with you. The point was that she was always loving and supportive throughout. So I don't think your feelings of loss here should be minimized. That said, you will work on those issues behind the scenes as you support your daughter for who she is. [/quote]

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