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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So annoying. I'm sorry, and seriously, good for you. You are doing more than most, including me, would do.

At the same time, possible that they feel like they don't want to burden you (I think the same thing about the MIL who said, I am here to see the baby, not you). I.e., could they feel like they wanted to leave you off the hook for being entertaining while having a newborn, etc.?

At best misguided and probably your instinct is 100% on, and it's rude.  [/quote]

This.

I used to go straight to being offended. But then someone said something to me once that I took to heart. And unless you are dealing with a sociopath (which you could be...but not as likely), then maybe it would help you too. That is: consider that your relatives and "loved ones" WANT to be in a loving relationship with you. And with that in mind, when they say something that comes off as rude or offensive, ask yourself if it can be interpreted in a different way (such as the way PP described). Could "I just want to talk to the girls" have been meant as an indication that she knows you are busy and it's a chore for you to take up your own time asking about their weather, etc...so she's absolving you of your obligation to do that without recognizing that it came off as rude?
Just something to think about. Your husband's mom probably doesn't WANT to piss you off. She knows that doing so would limit her access to the grandkids, so why would she knowingly seek to do that? Maybe have a little grace there.[/quote]

It takes 10 secs to make a comment about the weather and then add on that you don't want to hold the person up and where are the kids.  If relatives want to be in a loving relationship I'm sure they will be, they know how to act, they know what that looks like, they choose otherwise.

Would you ever say to your MIL to her face "I don't want to talk to you" and then walk away to talk to someone else.  Please if you think this is so ok, do this to your mother or MIL next time you see them. Bet you can't do it, can you, why not?

I think its good the younger generation aren't putting up with this nonsense because they really shouldn't have to.  It doesn't matter that it is your DH's mother, you are DH's wife so your husbands mother should be respecting that relationship just as much.

At the end of the day OP is giving them what they asked for.  I would not do anything to change that, they can learn to live with it.  Perhaps its a teaching moment in their life.[/quote]

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