Reply to Husband making comments about my dad's will

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[quote=Anonymous]There's a lot of focus on what happens to his money, but we were in the opposite situation where my widowed MIL had little to her name and remarried. She always thought her second DH had more than he did but he was secretive about money, put her money into his joint accounts and kept his separate, etc. Long story short, they are now elderly and divorced (after a huge betrayal by him), and her future care will likely fall completely on us (siblings not well-positioned to help). It has been beyond stressful and the difficulties compounded by the fact that no one ever wants to talk about this stuff until it's too late. We also weathered earlier conversations about where she'd be buried (he would decide even though she had a plot with her first husband), and those were hard on the children too. So I'd encourage you just to keep lines of conversation open with your dad. It's not always about the money, but often can be about expectations regarding care and other future plans/wishes.

Remarriages aside, I think most people our age (40s-50s) should probably have more honest conversations with their parents around their parents' plans for the future in terms of care, independence, savings, final wishes, etc. It can really save everyone so much grief and trouble and really build closeness too in a weird way because your parents know how much you'll be in their corner to ensure their plans/wishes can be carried out.[/quote]

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