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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was a WW so you may not want to hear from me, I am sorry for what you are going through. After d-day, my H made the decision not to decide at that time. He recognized he was a mess because of my actions. That did not mean I had a get-out-of-jail-free card; he had very specific expectations from me to even give our marriage a chance. So my advice is you do not need to make a huge decision immediately. Maybe give it six months. Or a year. Or not! Frankly, you have the right to make the decision you want at any time. Your husband took the truth of your life away from you for at least nine months, and now that you have that truth, it is your right to make the choice you feel is best for you (and your kids) at any time...whether that is now, in a year, in five years. Again, I am sorry you are going through this, and good luck.[/quote]

Are you only remorseful for getting caught?  [/quote]

NP ... I'm only remorseful for getting caught. But still together.[/quote]

So for the NP, this seems to cut in favor of OP getting a divorce. It doesn’t really matter what his expectations are for your marriage and how well you satisfy them, you aren’t really sorry about. And I’m sure your spouse doesn’t know that you aren’t really sorry, so in a way you’re kind of still cheating because you’re keeping that very important bit of information from him. How are you ever supposed to know that your spouse is actually committed to fidelity after an affair? If you’re willing to hide the affair to stay married, why not hide your lack of remorse to stay married too?

Man I always thought I could forgive my husband if he had an affair after lots of therapy and true remorse because once I read that marriages can bounce back, but this thread is making me think otherwise. [/quote]

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