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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you don’t expect to be be the default parent and don’t want to get used to being solo on some weekends, nights, and holidays then consider this a fling and move on. These are part of the life of being married to doctors in certain specialties.

If kid gets a fever at school, he can’t leave a patient on the table to go pick them up, the school will always call you. If kid throws up before school, he can’t call it in and reschedule patients that booked their surgery weeks or months ago, it will be you that will need to call in sick. He can never work from home. If he takes overnight call, you will likely need to live close to his work not yours. Unless you book your kids’ doctors appts 1-2 months in advance, he won’t be able to take them if he works a day shift because his schedule is booked out at least a month in advance.

- married to a doctor[/quote]

OP here. I want kids but work in healthcare and love my job. I feel being married to a high earner like a doctor will mean me compromising my job to stay home. [b]I don’t want to be a SAHM.[/b] [/quote]

Then this isn't the man for you. My dad was a doctor with his own private practice, so he had steady M-F hours, but constantly had to be available for emergencies. He really wanted my mom to be a SAHM, but she refused and kept her health care job with no flexibility even though he was a very high earner and we didn't need her salary. The result was absentee parents with a nanny who worked lots of hours. I remember my mom getting angry if any of us got sick, because she had to be at work before the nanny was due to show up and it was a given that my dad couldn't stay home with us. These people saying oh just get a great nanny don't understand how awful it is for the kids. I mommy tracked myself because I couldn't do that to my kids. I see these parents with dual important careers who hire nannies even when kids are elementary age, and the kids are almost always really messed up. Kids are supposed to be a priority, and you can't just live your life as if you didn't have them.

OP, you need the maturity to put kids before anything else. If you're dead set on keeping a career without the flexibility to work from home or stay home with sick kids, then you need a husband who can provide that flexibility. Break up now.[/quote]

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