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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Dating three months and you’re already planning your love together?  He’s the one who needs to run.[/quote]

That's my thinking.  Besides that, OP is looking for a husband who works 9 - 5.[/quote]

OP here. I’m not looking for a guy that works those hours. I’m fine with longer hours. I just want someone who doesn’t work weekends and holidays. I want a man who will be an involved father.[/quote]

He will work some weekends and holidays.

He will also be on call sometimes, which means, he might be home but he would need to leave at any minute so don't plan anything that you would get upset about if he leaves. If you want him to paint a room or take the kid to the circus when he is on call, he probably wouldn't because if he gets called he would need to leave.  If he worked an overnight call, he would come home and sleep.  So it's a post-call day that you consider as his day off but he'll be tired and might not be up to a full day of planned activities.

If you can be flexible with your time and schedule, if you can be supportive of his career (because mentally it takes a toll on both of you), if you have enough money for a full time nanny, if you're okay with celebrating some holidays solo or on days that are different from the actual day, then it can work.  If you don't have a lot of friends with doctor spouses, then start making some or you will get resentful and jealous of your 'regular working couple' friends having weekends together or the spouse doing drop off and pick up at school.

I'm not trying to steer you away, he can still be an amazing husband and father.  Your life will just be different from what you might be used to or expecting. I wish someone had been this brutally honest with me when I got married. I would have been better prepared for it and adjusted my expectations way earlier.  If you both love each other and you are willing to adjust your expectations and be more flexible, then go for it!

[/quote]

I’m married to an anesthesiologist, and I agree with all of this.

Also, I don’t know if she is still writing it, but there is a great blog called the underwear drawer written by an anesthesiologist mom.  [/quote]

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