Reply to My kid told me I’m a “sh***y mom”

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She is a bad mother to her oldest child. SHe can be a good mother to two others, but her oldest clearly knows she is neglected. Take this to heart op, do things with your eldest, one on one. Why is she a Cinderella?[/quote]

Op is not a “bad mother” for having her capable child do chores and and it does not make her daughter a “Cinderella” because she does more chores than her SN siblings. It is good for children to do chores (research has shown this) and most kids complain about doing them and think their mothers are awful, abusive, etc when they make their kids do them. That’s why it is soooo much easier to do it yourself. The difference in this situation is that OP has had a hard go of it and feels bad for not giving this child as much attention as the SN kids,  and so took the adolescent gripe seriously.

Anyway, it’s ok that she thinks it’s unfair (I’d remind her it’s unfair that her siblings got cancer/ADHD too), but she can’t disrespect you like that OP.[/quote]

No.  She is not a bad mother.  She is a horrible mother
  The daughter should not suffer because of the other two.  I had a friend in school who younger sister was always sick and had Down syndrome.   By the time she was grown she hated her mother and didn't she'd a tear or go to funeral service of either her sister or mother.

Your daughter is neither your maid nor babysitter, OP.  Empty your own damn dishwasher!
[/quote]

It’s actually really bad for kids to not do chores. If you don’t give your kids chores, you’re depriving them of the opportunity to learn to work toward a common goal, gain pride in having completed a task, and recognizing that basic living creates work. It’s “bad” parents who don’t make their kids do chores, if we want to categorize parents into good and bad (which is absurd).

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