Reply to Should I be honest with my mom’s grief counselor?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]18.18 here.  After reading your updates I would not contact her.  It doesn't sound like a professional therapist and she seems to be trying to get you to reconnect based on her own cultural bias rather than what is good for you.

Do what is right for you.  Block the therapist and if you need to speak to someone do that for yourself however you don't need to defend yourself to this person,  you really don't.  [/quote]

It sounds like you're projecting here. 
Where did you read that she'd have to defend herself?
Block the therapist??

OP, you're an adult and can hang up the phone if you don't like the direction the call is going, but to block the therapist prior to even speaking to them, is rash & unwarranted. 
[/quote]

No I'm not projecting.  By not defending herself I mean I don't think OP needs to explain her reasoning to this counsellor as to why she is no contact with her mother.  Op said it wasn't healthy for her she doesn't need to justify that decision to anyone.

I would block the therapist because she is helping the mother send cards etc for Christmas and birthdays.  This tells me that the therapist is trying to reconnect the two parties and this would be her aim if OP contacted her.

OP visited the therapist with her mother last time she visited so she has not only spoken to her but seen her in person so it is not rash to think that she has given this person a chance and isn't comfortable with it.  I don't think op is comfortable with it because she is posting here, if she felt ok about it she would have called already and hung up.

Its not only that but the emotional toll it will take on OP to drag all this emotional stuff up and then deal with anything that is said during the phone call.  I would only do that if OP is completely comfortable and feels she will get something out of the phone call.[/quote]

Yes. Block the “counselor”. She has poor boundaries and OP does not owe it to anyone to relive trauma to defend her actions. And it is so inappropriate that she is forwarding OP birthday and Christmas cards. That is not the role of a mental health professional. [/quote]

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