Reply to Advice for a west coaster moving to the east coast

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think the "passive-aggressive" versus "direct" phrasing is a question of framing, and not factually-based. My DH, who jokingly calls himself an "east coast escapee" at times (we are on the west coast, he grew up in MA) says that he thinks folks in New England and NY say they are "direct" but what they mean is that they are "unnecessarily rude just for the sake of being mean." Of course, he moved out west for college and never once looked back, so I think his opinion is skewed. Similarly, what east coast folks call "passive aggressive," west coast folks call "basic courtesy."

I grew up in California and what I have seen is that some people come to California and just absorb it and flourish, while others never feel comfortable. I get it, I don't think I'd ever feel settled on the east coast, but I think there are some folks who move east and just take to it. Not sure which one you will be, OP! Honestly, it's probably better to be a person who can enjoy both -- shows better mental flexibility and a healthier outlook.[/quote]

On the other hand, as an east coaster who made the move out west, I found the people unspeakably rude, and lacking in basic courtesy.  A lot of things I would expect on the east coast, like people looking you in the eye when speaking and seeming honest, forthright, and like they respected you, just seemed to fall by the wayside.  A lot of the people i interacted with seemed like they couldnt care less about a person or even viewed them with contempt.

I suppose it is a matter of perspective, but I noticed most big morning and talk show hosts come from the east coast and seem to be imported to the west coast.  So it seems like that friendly vibe is one people get from east coasters more often than west coasters[/quote]

I could not disagree more. When I moved to Los Angeles (two decades ago), I couldn’t believe how everyone looked me in the eye. And I started looking every passing person in the eye too! In DC, I grew up ignoring people I walked by.

In California, people are friendlier to strangers, but not as warm to their friends. [/quote]

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