Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the "passive-aggressive" versus "direct" phrasing is a question of framing, and not factually-based. My DH, who jokingly calls himself an "east coast escapee" at times (we are on the west coast, he grew up in MA) says that he thinks folks in New England and NY say they are "direct" but what they mean is that they are "unnecessarily rude just for the sake of being mean." Of course, he moved out west for college and never once looked back, so I think his opinion is skewed. Similarly, what east coast folks call "passive aggressive," west coast folks call "basic courtesy."

I grew up in California and what I have seen is that some people come to California and just absorb it and flourish, while others never feel comfortable. I get it, I don't think I'd ever feel settled on the east coast, but I think there are some folks who move east and just take to it. Not sure which one you will be, OP! Honestly, it's probably better to be a person who can enjoy both -- shows better mental flexibility and a healthier outlook.

On the other hand, as an east coaster who made the move out west, I found the people unspeakably rude, and lacking in basic courtesy. A lot of things I would expect on the east coast, like people looking you in the eye when speaking and seeming honest, forthright, and like they respected you, just seemed to fall by the wayside. A lot of the people i interacted with seemed like they couldnt care less about a person or even viewed them with contempt.

I suppose it is a matter of perspective, but I noticed most big morning and talk show hosts come from the east coast and seem to be imported to the west coast. So it seems like that friendly vibe is one people get from east coasters more often than west coasters

I could not disagree more. When I moved to Los Angeles (two decades ago), I couldn’t believe how everyone looked me in the eye. And I started looking every passing person in the eye too! In DC, I grew up ignoring people I walked by.

In California, people are friendlier to strangers, but not as warm to their friends.

Anonymous wrote:I think the "passive-aggressive" versus "direct" phrasing is a question of framing, and not factually-based. My DH, who jokingly calls himself an "east coast escapee" at times (we are on the west coast, he grew up in MA) says that he thinks folks in New England and NY say they are "direct" but what they mean is that they are "unnecessarily rude just for the sake of being mean." Of course, he moved out west for college and never once looked back, so I think his opinion is skewed. Similarly, what east coast folks call "passive aggressive," west coast folks call "basic courtesy."

I grew up in California and what I have seen is that some people come to California and just absorb it and flourish, while others never feel comfortable. I get it, I don't think I'd ever feel settled on the east coast, but I think there are some folks who move east and just take to it. Not sure which one you will be, OP! Honestly, it's probably better to be a person who can enjoy both -- shows better mental flexibility and a healthier outlook.

On the other hand, as an east coaster who made the move out west, I found the people unspeakably rude, and lacking in basic courtesy. A lot of things I would expect on the east coast, like people looking you in the eye when speaking and seeming honest, forthright, and like they respected you, just seemed to fall by the wayside. A lot of the people i interacted with seemed like they couldnt care less about a person or even viewed them with contempt.

I suppose it is a matter of perspective, but I noticed most big morning and talk show hosts come from the east coast and seem to be imported to the west coast. So it seems like that friendly vibe is one people get from east coasters more often than west coasters

I think the "passive-aggressive" versus "direct" phrasing is a question of framing, and not factually-based. My DH, who jokingly calls himself an "east coast escapee" at times (we are on the west coast, he grew up in MA) says that he thinks folks in New England and NY say they are "direct" but what they mean is that they are "unnecessarily rude just for the sake of being mean." Of course, he moved out west for college and never once looked back, so I think his opinion is skewed. Similarly, what east coast folks call "passive aggressive," west coast folks call "basic courtesy."

I grew up in California and what I have seen is that some people come to California and just absorb it and flourish, while others never feel comfortable. I get it, I don't think I'd ever feel settled on the east coast, but I think there are some folks who move east and just take to it. Not sure which one you will be, OP! Honestly, it's probably better to be a person who can enjoy both -- shows better mental flexibility and a healthier outlook.

I did have issues with how upfront the people were. It actually made me realize I had grown up being very passive aggressive, and that it wouldn't be tolerated in new York. It was difficult to change but ultimately I grew a lot and benefitted from it

I echo some of the pps who mentioned that the DC area is very transient. I moved here from NYC for grad school. While I love and appreciate the small town feel and the slower pace (compared to NYC), many of the great people I've met here are now scattered around the world.

I do love this region though. It has plenty of culture and diversity. It's a very quick and easy trip to Baltimore, Philly, and NYC on Amtrak. You can get to the ocean in 2.5 hours and the mountains in 1 hour. I don't mind the humid summer, but the mosquitoes are obscene. My niece who grew up in the bay area is always impressed by how "verdant" everything is here.

Anonymous wrote:Honestly besides the weather the biggest difference for me coming from the west coast was the lack of Mexican food. Lots and lots of other types of amazing food and cultures (Ethiopian! Peruvian! Salvadorean! Burmese!) to make up for it but I miss ubiquitous taco trucks.

I found people just as nice and friendly in DC area. Most people are from elsewhere anyway. The weather sucks all around. Traffic sucks, but that goes for any populated place.

+1 I miss good Mexican food. I've lived in DC for over 20 years, grew up in LA and worked there for 5 years after college. I worked in the entertainment industry so that was the environment I knew best and the main thing I see as different is that LA is much more image/looks-focused than DC. DC cares more about your education/credentials. In both places where/who you work for matters - "what do you do" is as much an LA question IME as a DC one.

The other big difference for me was that nobody I knew in LA ever volunteered (going to a party for charity doesn't count) whereas when I moved to DC it seemed a much more common activity. I met lots of people who really cared about what's going on in the world, not just in the movie/TV business.

I like having 4 seasons, even though the summer sucks. Traffic is not as bad as LA IMO but parking is worse.

There is a lot of transience among 20-somethings figuring out their life but in my 30s after I got married, had kids, and started making friends in our neighborhood that stopped. Most people have stayed put unless they were in the military. And, we have a couple friends in the State Department/Foreign Service who leave for a few years and then come back.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends where on the west coast and where you’re moving. Yes, New Yorkers are direct and life is faster paced there.

If you mean you’re moving to DC, people aren’t really that direct and life is a lot more suburban. You’ll probably be shocked at how black and white DC is (you’re going to miss the Asian and Mexican people/food/culture of the West Coast) and how starkly divided the city is along socioeconomic lines.

+100

East coast is black-white. And the white population is very Italian or Irish Catholic focused. You’ll miss all the amazing Asian, Mexican and Middle Eastern food!! But, you’ll get good soul food, and great Italian food.

East coast is preppier, more intellectual, more conventional, more competitive, more honest with bigger, brighter, and more opinionated personalities.

This person is referring to the NY and NJ area. I was the only Irish Catholic person in my HS in VA.

Goodness people the East Coast isn't just the DC area! Where I'm from (Richmond, VA) it is considered the absolute height of rudeness to not say hello to everyone.

Where along the what thousand mile coast do you want to move, OP?

^^sorry, I meant I went to Boston to work

I'm from Southern California and when I went to Boston for school, I kept feeling like I didn't fit. One day I came to this realization: If I moved to England, I would be speaking the same language but I would recognize that I was in a different country and that things weren't going to be the same.

So when I looked at Boston as if I was speaking the same language but in a different country, it became much easier for me to deal with the subtle differences.

So just imagine you are in a different country, OP, and you'll be fine.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What field are you in O.P.? Do not move here without a job. The winters suck out here. People are fatter + less friendly on the east coast. Stay put it you have a good job.

Most people don't move without a job, but we did. And it worked out fine. It just depends on your skillset and industry.

I do agree about how much more fatter people are here than out west. I was shocked. I had never lived anywhere else other than big metro areas out in CA. When we moved here we went to a fair, and oh boy, it was eye opening.

I find the people are much fatter in Los Angeles than say nyc

Everyone is fatter than people in NYC. They walk miles & miles every day!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What field are you in O.P.? Do not move here without a job. The winters suck out here. People are fatter + less friendly on the east coast. Stay put it you have a good job.

Most people don't move without a job, but we did. And it worked out fine. It just depends on your skillset and industry.

I do agree about how much more fatter people are here than out west. I was shocked. I had never lived anywhere else other than big metro areas out in CA. When we moved here we went to a fair, and oh boy, it was eye opening.

I find the people are much fatter in Los Angeles than say nyc

Anonymous wrote:What field are you in O.P.? Do not move here without a job. The winters suck out here. People are fatter + less friendly on the east coast. Stay put it you have a good job.

Most people don't move without a job, but we did. And it worked out fine. It just depends on your skillset and industry.

I do agree about how much more fatter people are here than out west. I was shocked. I had never lived anywhere else other than big metro areas out in CA. When we moved here we went to a fair, and oh boy, it was eye opening.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like the directness of the New York area versus the passive aggressiveness of the DC area.

Give me a rude New Yorker over a rude Marylander ANY DAY.

Well, then stay on the east coast, because the most passive aggressive Marylander will pale in comparison to anything you will see out west.

Besides, the passive aggressive stuff really starts in the south, which would be Virginia on down. Learn your regions!

Bad advice to someone who lived in Santa Monica 5 years and LOVED it. No rude people at all.

From someone who lived in Beverly Hills for four years- nope. The people are super rude all over l.a. I was so glad to leave

Both coasts are varied in their locations. Where are you moving from and what region are you considering for your move? Both the location and the career field.