Reply to 10 year old told me he thinks spouse is cheating on me -- advice?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You should look at his phone. [/quote]

+1. I am sure your child agonized over telling you and may not have told you everything he saw. [/quote]

If your kid was brave enough to come to you with this info, you need to be brave enough to do you own investigation — look at his phone, look at credit card bills, computer history, etc.  [/quote]

Or I dunno, be adult enough to talk to him?[/quote]

No. Get basic info/evidence first. If you don’t use it, fine, but don’t compromise the outcome from the gate by reducing your leverage (legally speaking).[/quote]

Good god. This is not how I’d handle it, but I guess I trust my husband and would just talk to him.

OP, if your marriage is solid and your husband hasn’t been leaving the house during the pandemic, talk to him.  If you think he’s cheating on you, then deal with that by... talking to him.  If you don’t trust him, then why are you with him?[/quote]

you are super naive if you think every cheating spouse is prepared to admit it when their spouse asks.[/quote]

I’m actually not naive. My first marriage ended because of infidelity. Had we communicated better, I believe he may not have cheated in the first place and it certainly would have been dealt with much faster.

You, on the other hand, sound paranoid that your husband is cheating on you. Unless you have a prenup that says no cheating, how is proving infidelity going to help you legally?  The OP should have a conversation with her spouse about what her son saw. She’ll know if he’s lying. [/quote]

Man, did he convince of the above or a terrible therapist in couples counseling? [/quote]

Yes I was thinking the same thing. It sounds like she's been brainwashed by bad advice. Cheating never happens because there was a lack of communication, nor is it the victims fault in anyway shape or form. Its another form of abuse from a dysfunctional person which probably goes back to childhood. It's a huge flaw but many miss it when picking a spouse. Victimizers usually pick a "type". Look at Bernie Madoff for example. He cheated on his wife for years, and he cheated his other victims out of their money.  He profiled all of them. Very common.[/quote]

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