Reply to 10 year old told me he thinks spouse is cheating on me -- advice?

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Reply to "10 year old told me he thinks spouse is cheating on me -- advice?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would confront my spouse and say that our kid is very upset about all of this. You both need to get an answer to your kid about what the messages really were so he's not left thinking his dad is a cheater. And then, regardless of whether he was cheating, work on your marriage. Your son clearly thinks something could be up. Smile more, laugh more, be affectionate in front of him. [/quote]

What—you are telling the WIFE to be more kittenish and appealing to this[b] likely a-hole who blew up a family[/b]??

You sound extremely misogynistic. [/quote]

New poster.

The bold above is classic DCUM projecting. NO idea yet if the DH is an "a-hole who blew up a family." None. Sure, he might be. Or the son might have gotten the wrong idea entirely.

We sure don't know, and OP doesn't know yet, so stow the "DH is obviously guilty, get a lawyer NOW" alarmist crap.

OP: What is getting lost here is the fact you say in the very first post that your DH tends to use terms like those and it doesn't alarm you in other contexts. You know your DH best; we don't. So I'd go to him -- don't let this wait or fester -- and be the adult and ask. "DS said he saw this on your phone and he came to me about it. He's concerned and he is interpreting it as something being wrong. Let's lay this to rest so DS is not chewing on this. What did he see? And let's go together to DS to explain it."

I don't have time or energy for farting around with snooping etc. Especially if there are zero other indications of any issues or any sneaking going on. Cut to the chase. Your DS is going to worry over this; frame this as a "We need to talk to EACH OTHER so we can both talk to DS" issue.

If DH hems and haws and is evasive, you'll have to have the guts to press him. If DH is embarrassed and sheepish because he calls some relative "baby girl" and realizes now that it looks silly -- that's another thing entirely.

The "snoop hard and secretly call a lawyer" posters are right in some cases on these forums, but in this case? Especially if you don't have DH's password etc. to get into the phone surreptitiously? Just sit DH down and tell him exactly what happened and say you want to see the phone so you and he can tell DS you saw the phone. [/quote]

PP from just above. S#*t, misread your OP regarding terms of endearment and got it reversed. So he doesn't use terms like that. But it does not change what I'd do in this case. Cut to the chase and tell DH what happened and say you and he need to look at his phone then and there, and that DS 's peace of mind is at stake. [/quote]

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