Reply to Signs a man will will be an equal partner

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Signs a man will will be an equal partner"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would add that the woman has to be willing to be in an equal partnership.  That means -- your husband is not always going to do things the way you do or prefer.  If you are always criticizing or "making suggestions to improve" whatever it is:  bathing the kids, helping with homework, folding laundry -- then he will stop doing it and suddenly you are overwhelmed with having to do everything!  My mother gave me this advice and it has served me well.  I've been married 35 years and we happily raised two kids together.  [/quote]

So true.

My mom spent her entire married life complaining about my dad's lack of domestic skills and participation. Yet every time he tried to step up, she nit picked him to death. It's her way or the highway. I'm sure there was some truth to her complaints, but her micro managing and criticism made her own life much harder than it needed to be.[/quote]

When we moved in together it used to drive me crazy that my then-boyfriend was loading the dishwasher wrong, and it was certainly driving him crazy when I corrected him.  We settled on a rule that has worked beautifully through the years, including after adding a baby: when one person is working we're both working.  So he might be loading the dishwasher differently than I would, but I don't notice because I'm doing laundry.  Or he puts the baby to bed and I clean the kitchen and living room until he comes down.

If one of us is just incredibly bushed or sick or something, we'll say "I need to go lay down/take a bath/play video games for a while" and that's fine, but as a baseline we have the same number of free time because we don't ever have one person watching TV or messing around on their phone while the other one is vacuuming.  It's become second nature and even though the intent was not to avoid the Big Talk After Kids, it is the perfect set up for not letting the addition of kids ruin the balance.  Now we both have less free time, but still the same amount.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics