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[quote=Anonymous]I agree that it is not that easy to predict. My SO checked all these boxes:

1. Lives alone or with a roommate and the place is not a wreck.
2. Can cook.
3. Doesn't outsource every single thing (wash and fold, for instance) unless he has a crazy 80 hr/week job
4. Maintains good relationships with his family
5. Has close friends of both genders
6. Didn't have a SAHM (they can't help this one, but by observation and studies, it really matters to how they internalize whose "job" it is to handle all the grunt work)

also, worked as a substitute kindergarten teacher and before we had kids always asked to hold friends' and relatives' babies

but still children completely changed the workload and division of labor. He puts in effort around the house, cooks, etc., but would almost always rather play golf or stare at his phone than do anything with the kids. He seems to consider them work more than enjoyable relationships...and maybe since ours are still fairly young (PK, ES) he isn't totally wrong. I do enjoy them more than him so that's his constant excuse.

Most single people have time for work and taking care of personal responsibilities and still have plenty of time for hobbies, social engagements, relaxing, etc.. Kids cut into that "fun" time by a lot.

I think the volunteer work would be an excellent green flag. [/quote]

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