Reply to Estranged Sibling entered rehab for alcoholism and wants to talk

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Estranged Sibling entered rehab for alcoholism and wants to talk "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My younger brother just went into rehab after years of alcohol abuse. This is a good thing but he’s now making the rounds with family and apologizing for his bad behavior. We had been close and kids but as we reached out 30’s his drinking got out of control. Over the years he has insulted my family, especially me and my wife  totally unprovoked at family gatherings. I didn’t realized the extend of his alcohol abuse then and just thought he was being a jerk and limited contact. Since he’s let me know he wants to talk about this I suddenly feel really mad again about all of his antics. I’m not sure I’m ready to have these conversations with him. Has anyone who has had a family member in the recovery process not participated in these talks? [/quote]

I'm mean, that is your right (not to meet him). But I guess I'd ask what do you hope to accomplish? Yes, he was a jerk. But, you now know it was influenced by his alcohol problem and b [b]HE WANTS TO APOLOGIZE.[/b] Not letting him won't heal your anger.

Now if he was abusive, you have safety issues with seeing him, that's a different issue. But, based on what you say above, I don't understand why you're digging in your heels about receiving an apology. And, FTR, apologizing doesn't mean you have to accept him in your life, have a relationship with him, or do anything else. [/quote]

So what? Why does the brother's sudden desire to apologize trump everything else? I'm a PP whose brother penned a sorry excuse for an apology. I don't care that he did that because I had a choice about whether I chose to read it or respond (did the first, not the second). But if he suddenly demanded a conversation with me, so he could apologize, I would probably say no. Because the apology isn't suppose to be about the giver, it's about the receiver. And I am not filled with anger that needs healing. I am just a pragmatic person who has discovered that my life is better without him in it.

If the brother has something he desperately needs to get off his chest, he can write it down. Then it is out of his control. If that leaves him with bad feelings, he can go to therapy. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics