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[quote=Anonymous]I doubt it, op. 
I think people think they can be happy and may be happy for a time, but then they realize that they want to be with a person who is interested in them as a romantic/sexual person and they can’t just “go and find a girl” like that song from the 1960’s says. This applies to women too, there is another song that says “grab a guy”.

You can’t do that when you are married at least not unless you want to be called a horn dog, a dirty old man, a wh**re.  If you are single, you are “going out with a nice ladyy” “spending time with a gentleman” same behaviors, same goal, very different language.

I think it isn’t so much about the type of sex.  If you are feeling down and a friend or coworker says “well, it’s Friday, go home and spend time with your spouse” and you think “My spouse is more interested in reading a book then spending time with me” or “my spouse won’t even kiss me when I walk in the door”, you realize that not everybody lives that way and start to wonder why you should.

Add to this the nasty comments on this board “your spouse won’t even go to bed with you, what’s wrong with you!” or “up your game” or “try harder” or “go to counseling” while also thinking “my spouse is someone who wanted to marry and stay married, they aren’t a person I’ve had a couple dates with, why can’t they treat me like a romantic and sexual being or end the marriage”

I say all this with a broad definition of sex.  I don’t care what people do and don’t do. I do care that they feel cherished in a marital relationship. That can be done in all kinds of ways.  Generally though when someone describes their marriage as sexless, it means no romantic or sexual feelings are expressed or allowed to be expressed. If people are happy in their marriage, they don’t describe it as sexless.   [/quote]

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