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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I cannot BELIEVE the victim blaming that is going on in this thread!

People, this woman was SEXUALLY HARASSED on the metro. Freezing up when someone is harassing you is a totally normal reaction. I bet that a lot of you bragging about your "don't fuck with me face" and calling the OP dumb would freeze up too if you experienced some of the things related in this thread. You want to know why people don't report this kind of behavior more often? Because when they do, people call them dumb and imply that they are responsible for being harassed. If the OP had come here with a story of this guy harassing her and her reaction being "GET AWAY FROM ME YOU CREEP!", people would be talking about how she didn't know what his intentions were and should have been more polite.

OP, I feel for you. I also seem to attract creeps on public transit. My strategy is usually to ignore them completely or get up and move to another car. It's not hard to get from one car to another when the train stops at a station, but there is always the fear that any kind of rebuff of the harasser on your part will lead to them escalating or going completely crazy.

The bottom line is that it's hard to stand up for yourself when someone makes you feel uncomfortable and trapped, even if you are otherwise confident.[/quote]

I don't see victim blaming. I see tips people are offering. OP has admitted this is a pattern. We didn't learn about the history of sexual assuault until recently in this thread, most people were responding to the incident originally posted, which was uncomfortable and a great "teachable moment" considering no substantial harm was done. I used to be OP. I put myself in dangerous situations in that I would against my will engage these guys and find myself answering their questions, giving them info about me. I could have been killed. As I've gotten older and more confident, I am not only approached less but I never feel trapped - I feel empowered to cut it off, abruptly, because not every random guy on the metro is deserving of my time, space, and energy.

If you take self defense, a lot of it is not physically learning to hurt someone, a lot of it is simply learning to shout NO repeadedly, to assert yourself, to make your feelings crystal clear. In this case OP should not have screamed but she can learn in the future to assert herself, take control, know that she doesn't have to give her time, space, energy. That is not victim blaming. I agree with your botton line - it is hard. It is why you hear about women being abducted in public in broad daylight, and you think, how could that have happened??? And on the flip side why you hear about attempte rapists or muggers being chased away by something as simple as a woman beating him off with her purse. It's making yourself an easy target vs. a more challenging target. It is not natural for mny of us but it's a skill that must be drilled into you and must be learned or if you want to protect yourself.[/quote]

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