Reply to Is being married and having children a barometer of success?

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Reply to "Is being married and having children a barometer of success?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I married a surgeon and have two bright well adjusted kids.  I am very thankful for my situation.  I also work full time professionally so my feeling of success comes from that, not my husband or kids.  [b]I have single friends in their 40s who never married and I know how lonely they are and regretful that they will never have kids.[/b] But it was something that was important to me, and I had to go out there and date a lot of people until I found the right one, and [b]be they type of woman that they wanted to marry (wear makeup, dress well, stay thin).[/b]  It also takes A LOT of compromise, I had to put my career on hold, deal with his long hours, and I completely understand that some women don’t want to change who they are. But I’m happy and would do it over again in a heartbeat.[/quote]

Hopefully you're a better friend than to let them buy into the notion that they should be lonely and regretful, or that there problem is somehow that they failed to "be the type of women that they wanted to marry" (wtf?).  I have several friends in their 40s with no kids (5 women and 1 man). Only for one is it by choice (got her tubes tied in her 30s).  The rest of them I'm sure are sad in some respects, but when we talk about our lives, it's clear what I've given up to have kids that they have not.  And they have all done amazing things that I can't - relocating abroad, taking huge career risks to be where they truly want, quitting work for several years to travel, focusing on tenure and career advancement, buying several houses on their own and renovating from the ground up, creating amazing gardens, and onwards.   [/quote]

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