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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As someone who was pregnant during this whole thing and now has an infant during this it isn’t good time to be pregnant.  That’s just a fact. Both my pregnancy and my maternity leave were nothing like I envisioned and we’re mostly spent inside our house other than for doctors visits. It’s not shaming someone to make that clear at the outset so they understand what they’re dealing with and can manage expectations. As someone who thought they’d be having a normal pregnancy it was tough coming to terms with what being pregnant and delivering during COVID meant- no baby shower, no spouse at doctors visits, no spouse at sonograms, no family or possibly spouse at the hospital for delivery, delivering alone, no visitors once baby’s home, no one getting to meet baby other than a select few, no going to stores or restaurants, not seeing anyone other than my spouse for the last six months, being CONSTANTLY anxious about catching it and what that would mean for fetus. It was also tough to go for months with no one really having an answer about the possible ramifications for pregnant women. If I was just getting pregnant now I’d want my doctor to be straightforward with me so I could be informed and prepare myself for how different things were going to be versus what I might have been expecting. [/quote]

Nail on the head here. I’m about to deliver. I think a lot of these posters who are minimizing the experience of being pregnant and postpartum now are just women who are wanting to be pregnant, are women had kids a million years ago and are trolling these threads (why I don’t know), or are just newly pregnant and aren’t really in the thick of of. I cannot explain the stress of pregnancy now.

Here’s what it looks like to be almost delivering now: we have kept our older kiddo socially isolated because my pregnancy is high risk and he has asthma. So a kid who was quite social and independent pre COVID hasn’t been cared for by any other caregivers other than his parents for 6 months and is now more clingy and dependent on parents. Now, in the last 2 weeks, we have had to arrange masked social get togethers outdoors with our emergency contacts for when I go into labor. These are good friends of ours but he hasn’t seen them this year and doesn’t remember them - and of course we all are wearing masks and trying not to get close so it’s not exactly comforting for him. He’s scared for us to leave him with one of these friends when I have this baby. And just allowing him to be watched means we have to open up our family to another person whose social distancing/safety protocols we don’t really know and who we have to trust unless I want to deliver alone. Then we are all risking exposing the grandparents and vice versa when they come to help with the newborn and older child after I deliver.

I’ve considered having no help but I had raging PPD last time And have been cautioned against total isolation for my own mental health. So the upside of having family means I have to worry about me, my baby, and my partner getting COVID at the hospital and potentially exposing my parents (who are high risk) to it. I’m just getting started here on how things are different this pregnancy. And sure, maybe we will all be fine. Maybe we won’t. It’s impossible to say. But the ongoing stress of COVID on top of a normally stressful and challenging situation (pregnancy and birth) should not be understated. It’s one thing to think about risks for adults or older children with developed immune systems. It’s very different when you have family members who are vulnerable and high risk, by virtue or age, race, or health conditions. I’ve never had to worry about accidentally infecting and killing a loved one with a virus before, and this is the new world we are in.

So all this to say don’t just dismiss those of us living in the reality. I wish I could be pregnant until a vaccine is here just to keep this baby safe. [/quote]

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