Reply to When is the most impactful age to SAHM?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have been a SAHM for 20 years now and I am not going back to work ever so take my advice with a pinch of salt because it is based on what worked for me.  Kids need you all the time. Till the time they are living in your house, they want to see your face when they are home.

I think most impactful is from birth to school age. After that if you have the flexibility to work full time while they are at school, you should certainly do that. If you need to stagger your work schedule with your spouse or have loving grandparents meet them at the busstop and spend time with them for one hour or so, then go back to work. As a mom and wife, you are always contributing regardless of your employment status.

From 4th to 8th grade is the time when a lot of bullying and stuff starts happening. So you have to  absolutely be around when they are home and be in their business. It is also the time that academic content is foundational to more rigorous courses in HS, so you have to keep an eye on it. This can be done with a flex schedule at work.

During HS you are needed sporadically but in a more specialized role.  Mainly guiding them academically, college application process and other teen and young adult issues.

I think if SAHMs stop trying to be housewives and outsource some of the work and devote their time guiding their children through the challenges of their age groups and their mental/social/physical/emotional/academic growth, they will realize that they are needed at every age but in different ways.

But for maximum impact - birth to school age.  Your kid needs the mom to hold them and be an arms length away most of the day.

Two of my kids are in college and they need me still to be their life advisor.  I am also the mom who advises their friends on all sort of things. Mainly, I am there as a non-judgmental pragmatic listener. I think that will remain for as long as my mental faculties are intact.[/quote]

I’ll never be a SAHM but I really want to downshift for grades 4-8 for the reasons you mention. It’s been ok so far for me to keep a busy professional life but my second grader already needs way more emotional support and I can see that’s going to get more intense in the next few years. [/quote]

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