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[quote=Anonymous]Oh, OP, I'm so sorry and I can empathize.  My totally 100% straight DH (seriously, zero gaydar pings) of 22 years gave me an STD, and then he admitted to meeting up with other "straight" married men from Craigslist for oral.  He was also diagnosed around the same time with Bipolar II, so I spent some time thinking the gay sex was not his choice but the result of him being out of his mind (hypomanic) and considering whether I could stay.  But ultimately I am totally turned off by his attraction to men (which he still ardently denies) and can't get past the betrayal and danger he put me in, so we are in the process of divorcing.  No kids thankfully, but he's been my partner and best friend since high school.

He makes it sound like there are just tons and tons of straight married men online who are just looking to get off by any means possible and that it doesn't say anything about their sexuality.  I truly don't know what conclusions to draw about his sexuality, but I do now know that there is unlimited opportunity for men to experiment sexually with other men.

Also, I confided in a friend, who then told me her ex bf "dabbled" with men as well, and she insisted it becomes an addiction for some men.  They have this internal compulsion to explore that side, and there's so much easy sex available that, once the floodgates open, it's hard to stop.

Your situation is different, and I'm speaking with my own biases of course, but I strongly echo the PPs who advised you to get tested, to not trust him fully, and to accept that what you've found could just be the tip of the iceberg.  It's terribly painful (I'm the OP of the thread months ago saying i'd rather be widowed), so I wish you luck.[/quote]

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