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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do not worry OP, just enjoy your pregnancy and babies.

I find that in real life other moms don't care/don't ask my age.  I was a younger mom at 22, but my son's 18 now (still happily married BTW, so lets squash that nonsense).  My aunt is 20 years older than me and we had babies at the same time.  If anything, it really bridged the gap in our relationship. She and I are closer than she and my dad.  We are in the same stage of life, and can relate to each other's parenting challenges.  She is more a peer to me than my parents, and that's okay.

Similarly, my close friend, who is also 40 just had a baby.  I don't see her as an older FTM.  Just a mom, with a newborn, while I'm a mom with teens. It's really not a big deal anywhere than on DCUM where some people feel insecure in their choices.  Finally, most of the time being a first time mom is a product of circumstances and luck.  I met my spouse early, some meet their later.  It's the luck of the draw.[/quote]

This is such a lovely post.

I’ll add that sometimes when we express gratitude about how things worked out for us (“I’m a far better mom at 41 than I would have been in my 20s” - which is a nice sentiment! It’s great to know yourself!) well, if not veryyy precisely worded it often reads like an indictment of younger parenthood. Your personal pro/con list sort of invites people to share their own thought processes, and sometimes those really sting (“I have a dream career and funds for infinite night nurses” and “I want to be an active and healthy grandparent” can strike at our deepest insecurities).

Maybe it simply irks people because we all love to optimize, but my two cents is that fertility at any age is nothing to take for granted, and every single age has pros and cons (even if you have charmingly convinced yourself that you timed it perfectly! Trust me, whatever your age is, there’s a very real drawback or two).[/quote]

Really nice PP post and lovely response. Thanks for this, DCUM being kind, reasonable,  smart, and compassionate.[/quote]

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