Reply to What reasons WOULD you decide to leave/divorce over

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Too obvious maybe, but couples counseling?

Bad things happen in life, maybe before you even met each other.  Sometimes, love makes everything else ok.  Sometimes it doesn't and then it gets really hard.  Your husband is dealing with "something" OP and maybe you are too.  It would be great for both of you to figure out what that something is.[/quote]

The thing about counseling is that in order for it to work, both people have to try and truly commit to the work of counseling. It is rare that both people want to work on the problem. Often counseling is used as an opportunity to have someone co-sign your position, which worsens rhe problem. Other times there are just crappy counselors that give crappy advice, which makes you have a crappy outcome, and you feel affirmed that the marriage is over. Last, individual issues From childhood are deeply rooted and comfortable to most people. It is very hard for someone to risk breaking into their foundation and vulnerably reconstruct that with a partner that they already feel distrust with.

It isn’t all that easy. I’m better off, I have a better relationship post-divorce, I’ve grown. But this didn’t help my marriage because my ex was unwilling to choose to do any work.

Signed,
Someone that invest years in personal and marital counseling before I learned those lessons [/quote]

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