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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I guess I'll be the unicorn. Spouse had an affair after 4 years of marriage. He confessed, was remorseful, wanted to stay married. We worked through things in therapy for about a year.

That was 25 years ago. We've had a strong, happy marriage. I sincerely believe he has never cheated again. [/quote]

How long was the affair?

My spouse’s was multi-year, but they didn’t see each other over the summers and 1-2 times per month the rest of the year.[/quote]

Multi-year signals a strong emotional bond and even if they were not physical they were likely connecting on an emotional level particularly if it was a work affair and could use landlines to talk.[/quote]

No it doesn't. it signals they got away with it for a long time and knew how to hide it better.[/quote]

Plus one.  I am out of a 4 year affair.  It just fizzled.  We aren't even in communication, went from weekly "how's it going" to monthly and now has been seven months.  Sometimes, it's just sex and passion that was missing in the marriage.[/quote]

Have you disclosed this to your spouse?  Was it unprotected sex (most likely)? 4 years is a LONG time.  The AP my spouse was with does not know and my therapist has suggested if I need closure by alerting the cheater’s poise it is the morally correct thing to do given the potential exposure of STIs. Nobody deserves to live in a lie and you are a POS for not coming clean.  You will do it again, KR.[/quote]

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