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[quote=Anonymous]I'm the PP who is looking for answers. When everything first started happening, I went to see a marriage counselor. At that point I thought I was going crazy and feeling guilty for even thinking he was lying. He wasn't a great DH in many other ways. Therapist told me I would never know what happened, if I was wrong/right, etc and that I should focus on strengthening the relationship. It was difficult but I did as she suggested. And things were better. Husband stopped spending money, simplified our bank accounts (he had multiple accounts) and started coming home from work earlier. He stopped withdrawing cash. I moved on until February when he totally couldn't tell me what he spent 250 dollars on. He looked uncomfortable, he dodged the question, he changed the subject. When I tried to ask him again he went crazy. Fortunately, we were in a public place so he had to maintain some control.  If I try to bring up the subject again he will explode.  I did get tested for STIs.

Maybe he isn't cheating but I know he isn't being honest. He doesn't have a problem with drugs or alcohol. He isn't a gambler.  I am assuming his secret is sexual.  I know finding out about infidelity is horrible but it is even worse to suspect your spouse is cheating but have no evidence. It is a problem that can't be addressed or solved. And, ironically, I would be willing to work on the relationship even if he cheated. I just don't know if I can live with the uncertainty of not knowing[/quote]

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