Reply to Why Is My 16 Year Old Son A Raging Asshat?

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[quote=Anonymous]He doesn't sound like a bad kid.  Just maybe bored and yes, lazy.  That was my brother but add in the terrible grades b/c he was even too lazy to do the schoolwork.  And he had a very high IQ to boot.  Would he agree to do something fun with just you?  Like go to a movie and dinner?  Or go hiking?  If so, take him and have as much fun as you can.  It will be tempting to talk to him about what's bothering him, what his problem is, etc etc but don't.  Just spend some time together alone if possible doing something pleasant.  Ignore any negative or lame comments.  If he wants to sit in semi-sweaty clothes and not shower, let him.  At his age, you've done your job in terms of teaching him how to take care of his body.  Don't engage the rudeness.  I have a strong willed kid and I am sure I will be writing this in 10 yrs myself.  The only thing that works with him is to disengage.  If he is going to be rude to you, don't let him.  Leave the room and instruct siblings to do so too.  I would also have you DH spend some time with him alone doing something enjoyable and skip any lectures.  Hang in there.  I remember how my brother exhausted my single mother when he was a teenager.  He didn't mature until he was in his mid 20s but he finally did.  He even apologized to my mother for all of the trouble he caused her when he was a teen.[/quote]

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