Reply to Why Is My 16 Year Old Son A Raging Asshat?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wow...calling him an Asshat?

Anyways, for about 10 months my DD displayed some of the behavior that your DS is showing. She was out of control.

We were at our wit's end and, as a last resort, we took her to a therapist.  Come to find out that she was depressed and had some emotional issues she was dealing with.  She had lost a close grandparent and some other things that had taken a toll on her.

We thought we were attentive parents, but we were so caught up in the negative aspects of her behavior and how WE thought she should act, that we forgot that there had to be CAUSE for the behavior.

Cursing at you is unacceptable.  But I think there is something deeper there.  Don't focus on the behavior - take steps to find out WHY.

Good luck!  [/quote]

I'm venting on a parenting board, I do not call him that to his face. I'm only human and he is pushing me to the edge of my limits. If I can't vent online where can I vent?[/quote]

PP here.  I wrote a pretty long message.  I hope you read past the first line. Do not get offended, but your response exhibits a lot of the same feelings that we had.  In your posts, you have focused a lot on [b]YOU[/b] being pushed to your limits, [b]YOU[/b] are only human, [b]I[/b] am tired, [b]I[/b] did not raise him this way, etc.  Honestly, as the therapist told us, you bear the brunt of the behavior, but it is not about YOU.  You are not your DS' enemy and he is not your enemy.  I understand that you are venting.  I have been there and done that.  But your tone about your son is negative and adversarial.  You have talked a lot about waht he does not do, the negaitve aspects of his personality - You are venting.  Cool!  But I have given you some suggestions based on a similar experience (and other PP's have also).  At a certain point, the venting and the personalization have to stop.  There is something more there.

I am sorry if I sound harsh, but I have been where you are and a similar mindset about it.  Until we swallowed our pride and sought help, we sounded very much like you.

Good Luck.   [/quote]

I agree you and I appreciate the feedback. This is kind of one of those posts and situations though where I feel like I'm on the airplane and I need the oxygen mask for myself before I can help him. I have said I love him and he's talented musically, he reads, he isn't into drinking or drugs. He's a [i]good[/i] kid, just a pain, he's draining, he debates. There isn't much good to focus on right now at this junction in time. I'm not a bad parent for saying that, I don't need to sugar coat everything, but I do want to see someone for myself before I take him in, I said that earlier as well. I do thank you for understanding what we're experiencing, it helps to know we're not alone and this happens to other families.[/quote]

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