Reply to Why are people so whiny about chores on here? I don't get it

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[quote=Anonymous]I think the explanation has a couple different roots:

Many/most of us grew up without specific instruction and regular practice in domestic skills. (This is not necessarily all bad -- it meant the girls weren't segregated to home ec while the boys took shop, and daughters weren't automatically expected to help their mothers in the kitchen while dad and the boys relaxed.) But it does mean that we don't automatically have points of reference for labor- and time-saving things like menu-planning, how to pull together a quick supper, a daily/weekly rhythm for chores, etc.

So what we know, we picked up from Martha Stewart and the Food Network. Great for aspirational one-offs, sure -- but it skews expectations for daily living. You don't need Ina Garten and homemade ricotta to help you make dinner on a Tuesday between band and soccer. Nor does your coffee tablescape have to include anything beyond a laptop, legos and geometry homework.

Like any skill, basic cooking and cleaning take practice. And they suck up time and energy while you learn. Some people are willing to muddle through. Others pick up skills because there's no other good option. Others says forget it, I'm willing to buy myself out of this.

The last element is kids. "Quality time" is a new construct. Now we feel like every moment with our kids has to be a) enjoyable, b) memorable, and c) growth-inducing (but only UMC/pre-professional growth, so learning how to sew on a button is out). But if there are 4-6 people in a household and only two are doing regular maintenance, things go south pretty fast. (Especially if there's no incentive not to drop things on the floor because you don't have to sweep them up. Or to wash the toothpaste out of the sink if you don't ever have to wipe down.)

Would I rather go to the movies than have my kids put away their laundry? Sure. But the tradeoff is that they've gotten a lot faster with practice. And they don't put clean-but-vetoed clothes in the hamper now that they have to wash their stuff. It's kind of like shoelaces vs. velcro -- velcro's a lot easier than teaching your kids how to tie their shoes (and nagging them for 13 more years to retie them). But at some point you have to help your kid become a functional adult, if only because they can't ask their HYP interviewer to help them make bunny ears.[/quote]

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