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[quote=Anonymous]F to my father. Always full of rage, physically abusive, and had a secret second family I found out about in my 20s. Died of a drug overdose when I was 8 and as terrible as it sounds, I sincerely believe it was for the best for our family.

B to my mother. She also had a drug problem (recovered now) so we were poor, childhood was unstable, and I was terrified for her health for most of my teen/early adult years when I finally figured out what was going on, which left its mark. But she's the kindest and most generous person I know, despite never having had much. And she did everything she could to push me to succeed, even with the addiction. I think she did the best she could.

My kid is being raised in a very different environment than I grew up in. DH and I are both attorneys with good incomes, and I'll be honest I worry about raising her with that kind of relative privilege. I'm glad she's provided for, but it's just a different kind of life. That said, I am very grateful that she's growing up in a stable and loving home, with a father who could not be more different than mine. I get very emotional thinking about her good relationship with my DH.

I think one thing I take away from my relationship with my parents is how important it is just be patient and kind with kids. With my dad there was always so much fear and hostility around him and those are the kind of memories that last. With my mom, even though she had her own issues, just having someone you didn't have to walk on eggshells around because she'd literally never lose her patience was a big deal. [/quote]

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