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[quote=Anonymous]People, the issue here isn’t trying to convince OP that staying home with kids is what she might ultimately want.

Nor is the issue that her boyfriend wants a stay at home wife. That’s not my position, but it’s a reasonable one nonetheless.

The issue is her boyfriend is apparently not satisfied with her answer that she does not want to stay home.  Clearly her bf is pushing this issue or op wouldn’t be concerned about it.  If the bf simply said he’d ideally have a sahw but clearly the choice was with op, she wouldn’t be posting here.  This is obviously a very big deal for the bf. And that’s the issue here: the bf is trying to control ops future career choices.  Men can have whatever positions they want about stay at home wives.  But ultimately if a woman wants to work, it’s her decision.  If she wants to stay home, it’s a mutual decision. In a normal good relationship, the couple together weigh the pros and cons of who works and stays home. And if A wife doesn’t want to stay home, that’s a serious con that can’t be ignored.  If the bf isn’t placing any value in that discussion on her desire to keep working, then THAT is the red flag. Not the fact that he idealizes stay at home moms.

So op if he’s taking a hard and fast line on this issue, run.  Not because your future career/kid plans are incompatible.  But because he’s a baby who’s unwilling to compromise, discuss, hear your feelings or place any value on your interests. [/quote]

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