Reply to Whats the thing you’ve changed about yourself that had a positive impact on your marriage

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Very interesting responses. I see some repeated that I am going to try:

Accept and appreciate your spouse.
Respect and support your spouse.
Listen to and acknowledge your spouse. 
[b]If you feel like your spouse isn’t doing this for you, calmly tell them your concerns[/b].[/quote]

For those that have successfully done #1 - how were you able to do it?  Every day I give myself a pep talk that I will be positive and within 20min I find myself angry that dh is fiddling on his phone in the corner while I’m trying to juggle two toddlers, get breakfast, pack for daycare etc etc etc.  [/quote]

I think it will be hard for you to do the first three things if your spouse doesn't do them for you. I'd suggest that you start by talking to your spouse about how you WANT to have an appreciative, loving relationship, but instead you feel a lot of resentment about uneven distribution of parenting work/no time for yourself/too much stress on you (however you want to describe what's going on in the instant you described). Try to phrase it all in "I" statements: "When I'm rushing around trying to get everything ready in the morning, I feel so angry and stressed" etc. Don't start in with "you" statements: "You fiddle with your phone and you leave all the work to me!" You can go to a marriage counselor and have them facilitate the conversation if you need help talking through it calmly and effectively. (No shame in that at all!)[/quote]

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