Reply to Vent about my sister just being a jerk

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm sorry, OP. T[b]hat's tough that she didn't provide at least some notic[/b]e.

That said, it's not reasonable to issue a summons for another adult's time. An invitation is great, yes. An idea for everyone to be together, yes. But at the end of the day, there is nothing wrong with another adult making a decision with his or her time and how they want to spend the little vacation they have.

For all you know, the marriage is under strain, and the choice was made to regroup the marriage with a nice vacation rather than the stress of family at the holidays.[/quote]

What?  "The Holidays" typically means the Christmas/New Years time frame, in which case she let them know 7 weeks in advance.  And even if it refers to Thanksgiving, that's three weeks from today.  [/quote]

He meant Thanksgiving and Christmas. She said she’d be there and then just sent flight info to us with nothing else even in the email. [/quote]

BOTH major holidays? What about your sisters husbands family? Maybe I’m biased because my MIL is always saying “it’s very important to me that we are all together for Christmas this year” and I always want to respond “yes, my own mother says the exact same thing though, you realize?”[/quote]

They won't see his family either. They're going to Europe both times. [/quote]

A little weird then for sure. It sounds like this is their yearly tradition, no? Since they do it every year? It would have been better if she had foregone their tradition for one year but just like your father has a vision of the holidays- so does your sister and her husband. Agree with PPs that say you can’t summon other adults over the holidays. Presumably your parents did what they wanted for the holidays when you and your sister were young- and now you and your sister get to do what each of you want. For you, that’s going home to your family of origin. For her it isn’t. It sucks when values don’t line up but it’s not uncommon.  The only thing I can get behind is that your sister shouldn’t have told your dad yes and then went back on her word. (Also why is she group emailing her hotel info? Does anyone care about it?!)[/quote]

Yeah, we don't care what hotel she's in. I like to know flight info, but her hotel doesn't matter to me.

They go on the same trip every year. A little weird to me, since they don't know anyone there so it's not like they're visiting friends, but to each their own. My real issue is how she went back on her word without any explanation. But you're all right that I can't force her to do something. [/quote]

It sounds like they have built their own little tradition and it means a lot to them. I like going to the same beach town every year as soon as school lets out. I would be loathe to cancel our little tradition because an older relative wanted me to visit them that exact week instead. Even if that older relative were my own dad.  But- I wouldn’t have led him on and pretended I’d visit that week like your sister did[/quote]

They are going on TWO trips, over Thanksgiving and Christmas. As a childless couple, not bound to school vacation times, they have chosen the busiest and most expensive times of the year to travel, probably  because they don't like their families very much.[/quote]

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