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[quote=Anonymous]We don’t explode, but it’s more like the occasional wince provoked by the sound of  nails on chalkboard.

DH has an endless reserve to give from. He gives “overgenerously” of his time, talent, and treasure. I have smaller reserves. He thinks I can give more and I really can’t. I try to give all I can to my immediate family’s needs and then reassess if I can spare more. DH gives so much that I worry about the potential toll on him. So instead of meeting my own needs, I’m making sure his are met.

Full disclosure: when we first met, I was bowled over by how giving he was and how he always made sure my needs were being addressed. Eight years later, I see that it was not at all because I was special to him, LOL! Rather, he has a pathological need to make everyone happy. He can’t be happy if someone has a problem. He’s a veteran, an engineer, and a teacher so fixing things and helping people is just who he is. And I love that about him, but it is our issue. 
This year, I started hiding problems from him because he has a health issue and I want him to rest. If I have a problem I can’t fix on my own, I’ll go to twelve other people first. So I guess our issue is now keeping secrets as well. [/quote]

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