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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I had my kids at 45 and they are in elementary school.  My father died this year and my mother, while still living on her own and in good mental health, has been dealing with very serious cancer - so the clock is ticking loudly down to the next crisis.

I worry about what my kids will be saddled with, and I realize that worrying about that is a fairly pointless use of energy.

I work hard at being and staying healthy.  My husband and I work hard to ensure we will be very well off in retirement.  I will buy long term care insurance.  I plan to move to a location with stepped up care options BEFORE i need such things. (And I desperately hope the options for that improve in the next 10-15 years.) [b]I will talk with my kids about always putting the next generation first, if they end up having to make decisions about caring for me versus caring for my grandchildren.[/b]

I will do what I can to reduce the burden on them by ensuring there are ample financial reserves, I don't resist accepting help, and I let them know how I expect to be prioritized.  And I have been and remain focused on doing everything I can to position my kids to be well-rounded people, with good/pragmatic heads on their shoulders, who know how to think about and have difficult conversations around illness, dying, etc...

I'll do my best and hope for the best and hope that my kids will have rich, full lives, in which I play an active healthy role for as long as possible, and then as manageable a strain at the end as possible.

I figure that's about all I can do.
[/quote]

The part highlighted sounds wonderful and my mom said the same thing until she needed me. Now with age her empathy has declined and she is offended that the grandchildren come first. The problem is cognitive issues can change our personalities so we become quite nasty and demanding with out adult kids.[/quote]

We should all write down our wishes now to instruct our older selves.[/quote]

This.[/quote]

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