Reply to Stop! Don’t feed the...kid! Nice way to handle?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I’m going to disagree with the people on this thread who think you owe anyone in this world your family’s private medical information. You saying it’s serious should be enough to convey its seriousness. I also believe you about the prevalence of treats; I’ve worked in schools and food rewards are everywhere even as we talk about the need to reduce them.

I think the explanation you gave on this thread was excellent. If read aloud it would take relatively little time to deliver the message.

Your real issue is what happens when people don’t respect this very important boundary. This is a health and safety issue. If it’s a school event, you should probably be there. Swoop in and say, “No thanks, Larla. It’s doctor’s orders.” Hand the plate back to Larla or lead your child away from the table. Later, when the kids are playing a game or cleanup is happening, you can give a longer explanation if you’d like: “Sorry to be brusque. It’s upsetting to my daughter that she can’t have seconds like the other children. Unfortunately, she has a very serious medical condition that requires us to carefully monitor her diet, and it’s already been difficult to budget for the sweets she’s had so far today.”

When it’s family who may have your child without you present or who violate your rules despite knowing the reasons for them, that’s more serious. Tell them that this is a health and safety issue. You know it’s sad because food is so enjoyable and part of socializing, so you’ve worked with a dietician to balance social-emotional well-being and long-term health. Explain that breaking your rules means no unsupervised visitation with your daughter, no exceptions. Give them ideas for other ways to show love and give special non-food treats. Help them with coping mechanisms if your daughter insists she’s hungry. But hold firm on your rules.[/quote]

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