Reply to The crisis coming that is taboo to talk about

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m right in the middle of the sandwich and I’m extremely worried about this.  I’m 45, with a 5 year old child, and a 75 year old mom  with health issues (79 year old dad is acting as the main caregiver).  My mom had to deal with the same issues when she was in her 30s and 40s, while I was young (my grandmother  was 30 when my mom was born), due to her dad’s dementia which started in his 60s. I’m adding an additional ten year gap compared to the prior generations so I”m really worried about what my child will have to deal with as I age.

This has actually motivated me to try one of those dna kits to see if I am predisposed to any diseases, and I’m inclined to start following a Mediterranean diet linked to reduced risk of dementia. I would love to exercise regularly and make other health related changes but the demands of work paired with the sandwich situation take up all my time. And I”m inclined to start a separate savings/investment account, independent of my 401k, designated for these types of future health issues. One saving grace is that my parents are not (yet) in need of financial help, and i don’t ever want my daughter to have to bear a financial burden for my care.

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Depending on the DNA kit it may not have all the tests. The one I did tested for I think either early or late onset Alz. Mediterranean diet is a good idea, so is eliminating sugar which has been linked with cancer, Alzheimers and inflammation in general. Exercise is key too and even just 5-10 minutes using you tube in your living room or lifting weights is worth it. It does not have to be an hour at a fancy gym. Work in what you can. That said my parents did all the right things and here we are. I honestly wish they put anti-anxiety meds in the drinking water of difficult elderly people. Even if they wouldn't drink it, I would and then maybe I could stand all the drama and outbursts.

This is going to sound extreme and I doubt it will ever happen in our country, but I wish we had the option of assisted suicide the way they do in other countries. i plan to track my cognition, scale down all my stuff and take my kids to therapy to explain my decision and make it all about me and not let them know I don't want them to ever know the living hell that is abusive elderly parents that need you. I honestly hope my husband will get on board too. Then i want to fly off and peacefully go on my terms in a country to allows it. I want my savings to go toward enjoying life and a safety net for my kids. Meds, therapy, money, friends and support groups help, but day after day dealing with someone who has made you the scapegoat of their misery and watching them fade into a helpless, yet still angry and completely dependent being is hard enough at my age. It would have done me in at a younger age. I think we need as a country to focus more on quality of life and stop trying to extend life if we cannot extend with quality.[/quote]

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