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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My best friend tried a VBAC after a scheduled C section for a breech baby. She had some really fanciful notions about vaginal childbirth being some kind of empowering and beautiful experience she has missed out on and felt like she has failed in her first for having a section and was hell bent on trying for a vaginal birth. Some of her friends had had vaginal births tried to disavow her of these unrealistic expectations and to explain to her how painful and difficult the experience was but she wouldn’t hear it. She ended up having a long and painful labor and then a traumatic emergency C section which she said was far worse than the scheduled one. I think the only benefit she has now is that she can still run easily with no leaking or pelvic floor issues. But even after all that she still seems to think she missed out on something from not having a vaginal birth. [/quote]

Screw you.[/quote]

Why? If mom and baby are healthy and no one died or was permanently injured, WTF does it matter if baby came out of your belly instead of your lady bits? Plenty of vaginal births are horrific and injurious but the VBAC community refuses to hear that. [/quote]

Are you really this uninformed? I knew even before I was ever pregnant that these kinds of thoughts and feelings are common to the C-section experience!

Let me drop this little fact on you:[b] Feelings of loss, missing out, doing something wrong, failing, and not fulfilling "your job as a woman" ARE SO COMMON AND UNIVERSAL POST-C-SECTION THAT IT IS LITERALLY PART OF THE VIDEO THEY MAKE YOU WATCH WHEN YOU LEAVE THE HOSPITAL.[/b] It is literally part of any book about C-sections or birth experience. It's a totally normal, common, natural, nearly universal experience that doctors and scientists study it.

[/quote]

I note you have no response to the bolded. Hmm, wonder why?[/quote]

Still waiting![/quote]

I'll take this one.  The "feelings of loss" are CREATED by the unhealthy insistence that c-sections are somehow wrong/shameful/failures.  If the VBAC community quit embracing this unhealthy dogma, then women would no longer feel such "feelings of loss" for having ... benefitted from modern medicine.  [/quote]

Nope, but nice try!

I experienced these feelings after an *emergency* C-section, not after attempted VBAC. I experienced nothing short of a trauma. To the point where at one point in my traumatic birth ordeal, I felt freezing cold and "far away," and I heard the doctor say "we're losing her."

My feelings of loss and failing and betrayal from my body were caused by a traumatic birth experience, and from experiencing trauma rather than the vaginal birth experience that I and most women had been mostly prepared for and preparing for. VBAC had literally nothing to do with it.

I chose a second, non-emergency C-section the second time around. But I certainly empathize with women who wanted VBAC, for any reason that makes sense to them.

Try listening to those who have had different experiences than you. Try being supportive. It has nothing to do with thinking vaginal birth is somehow a perfect, magical cake walk. But do you get that vaginal birth is the "primary"  birth experience that women in this country are taught about and prepared for, by medical professionals and in books and heck, even in movies and pop culture? And when other women talk about their births? It's just more common, and therefore more normalized. It is difficult to be an outsider to that experience.[/quote]

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