Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP you do realize that many women with vaginal deliveries (even normal uncomplicated ones) also experience birth trauma, right? You seem to assume that trauma can’t be experienced by women who deliver vaginally, and that is just not the case.

Yes, of course I understand that. And they likely have their own, attendant demons to contend with. I'm not saying C-section trauma is any worse.

What I AM saying is that no one should dismiss, discount or wave away the very real feelings of loss, missing out, failing, etc., that many women who have had C-section trauma experience.

Do you see me discounting anyone's birth experience or trauma? No. But we absolutely have seen people dismissing, minimizing and waving away very real feelings of loss from those who have had C-sections. We've even seen people guilting and shaming women for having those very natural, normal feelings?

How about listening?

Anonymous wrote:PP you do realize that many women with vaginal deliveries (even normal uncomplicated ones) also experience birth trauma, right? You seem to assume that trauma can’t be experienced by women who deliver vaginally, and that is just not the case.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My best friend tried a VBAC after a scheduled C section for a breech baby. She had some really fanciful notions about vaginal childbirth being some kind of empowering and beautiful experience she has missed out on and felt like she has failed in her first for having a section and was hell bent on trying for a vaginal birth. Some of her friends had had vaginal births tried to disavow her of these unrealistic expectations and to explain to her how painful and difficult the experience was but she wouldn’t hear it. She ended up having a long and painful labor and then a traumatic emergency C section which she said was far worse than the scheduled one. I think the only benefit she has now is that she can still run easily with no leaking or pelvic floor issues. But even after all that she still seems to think she missed out on something from not having a vaginal birth.

Screw you.

Why? If mom and baby are healthy and no one died or was permanently injured, WTF does it matter if baby came out of your belly instead of your lady bits? Plenty of vaginal births are horrific and injurious but the VBAC community refuses to hear that.

Are you really this uninformed? I knew even before I was ever pregnant that these kinds of thoughts and feelings are common to the C-section experience!

Let me drop this little fact on you: Feelings of loss, missing out, doing something wrong, failing, and not fulfilling "your job as a woman" ARE SO COMMON AND UNIVERSAL POST-C-SECTION THAT IT IS LITERALLY PART OF THE VIDEO THEY MAKE YOU WATCH WHEN YOU LEAVE THE HOSPITAL. It is literally part of any book about C-sections or birth experience. It's a totally normal, common, natural, nearly universal experience that doctors and scientists study it.

I note you have no response to the bolded. Hmm, wonder why?

Still waiting!

I'll take this one. The "feelings of loss" are CREATED by the unhealthy insistence that c-sections are somehow wrong/shameful/failures. If the VBAC community quit embracing this unhealthy dogma, then women would no longer feel such "feelings of loss" for having ... benefitted from modern medicine.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My best friend tried a VBAC after a scheduled C section for a breech baby. She had some really fanciful notions about vaginal childbirth being some kind of empowering and beautiful experience she has missed out on and felt like she has failed in her first for having a section and was hell bent on trying for a vaginal birth. Some of her friends had had vaginal births tried to disavow her of these unrealistic expectations and to explain to her how painful and difficult the experience was but she wouldn’t hear it. She ended up having a long and painful labor and then a traumatic emergency C section which she said was far worse than the scheduled one. I think the only benefit she has now is that she can still run easily with no leaking or pelvic floor issues. But even after all that she still seems to think she missed out on something from not having a vaginal birth.

Screw you.

Why? If mom and baby are healthy and no one died or was permanently injured, WTF does it matter if baby came out of your belly instead of your lady bits? Plenty of vaginal births are horrific and injurious but the VBAC community refuses to hear that.

Are you really this uninformed? I knew even before I was ever pregnant that these kinds of thoughts and feelings are common to the C-section experience!

Let me drop this little fact on you: Feelings of loss, missing out, doing something wrong, failing, and not fulfilling "your job as a woman" ARE SO COMMON AND UNIVERSAL POST-C-SECTION THAT IT IS LITERALLY PART OF THE VIDEO THEY MAKE YOU WATCH WHEN YOU LEAVE THE HOSPITAL. It is literally part of any book about C-sections or birth experience. It's a totally normal, common, natural, nearly universal experience that doctors and scientists study it.

I note you have no response to the bolded. Hmm, wonder why?

Still waiting!

I'll take this one. The "feelings of loss" are CREATED by the unhealthy insistence that c-sections are somehow wrong/shameful/failures. If the VBAC community quit embracing this unhealthy dogma, then women would no longer feel such "feelings of loss" for having ... benefitted from modern medicine.

Anonymous wrote:I had a csection after 20 hours of labor with first. With the second i was determined to VBAC, since I felt like there was no good reason I should have had a Csection, other than stubborn baby position and laboring too long (water had broken, meconium leaking, minor distress). The C-section was very emotionally traumatic for me, a painful recovery, and also led to some secondary infertility issues. Did not want to go through that again. So I started prepping from the moment I became pregnant with second, including changing OB, finding a doula, reading all I could about birthing, going to a crunchy birth class, and visiting a prenatal chiropractor throughout pregnancy to help with baby position. Visited the hospital with the doula and interrogated all the nurses. Asked my provider tons and tons of questions. Got all my ducks in a row and made sure I had the right support team in place. It was a lot of work and time, but I'm thankful I did it. Had a successful VBAC in a hospital with no interventions (which was key for me - my goal was no help from the hospital other than catching the baby). It was hard, but wonderful, and I learned so much through the process. My recovery was great and it made life with a newborn so easy compared to my other experience.

With all that said, I have a family member have a successful VBAC at home with a midwife, but she basically became a midwife herself in the research process. She was fine. I personally would not be comfortable doing it outside of the hospital setting. As others have written, a lot could go wrong.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My best friend tried a VBAC after a scheduled C section for a breech baby. She had some really fanciful notions about vaginal childbirth being some kind of empowering and beautiful experience she has missed out on and felt like she has failed in her first for having a section and was hell bent on trying for a vaginal birth. Some of her friends had had vaginal births tried to disavow her of these unrealistic expectations and to explain to her how painful and difficult the experience was but she wouldn’t hear it. She ended up having a long and painful labor and then a traumatic emergency C section which she said was far worse than the scheduled one. I think the only benefit she has now is that she can still run easily with no leaking or pelvic floor issues. But even after all that she still seems to think she missed out on something from not having a vaginal birth.

Screw you.

Why? If mom and baby are healthy and no one died or was permanently injured, WTF does it matter if baby came out of your belly instead of your lady bits? Plenty of vaginal births are horrific and injurious but the VBAC community refuses to hear that.

Are you really this uninformed? I knew even before I was ever pregnant that these kinds of thoughts and feelings are common to the C-section experience!

Let me drop this little fact on you: Feelings of loss, missing out, doing something wrong, failing, and not fulfilling "your job as a woman" ARE SO COMMON AND UNIVERSAL POST-C-SECTION THAT IT IS LITERALLY PART OF THE VIDEO THEY MAKE YOU WATCH WHEN YOU LEAVE THE HOSPITAL. It is literally part of any book about C-sections or birth experience. It's a totally normal, common, natural, nearly universal experience that doctors and scientists study it.

I note you have no response to the bolded. Hmm, wonder why?

Still waiting!

I am not that poster, but what video are you talking about? I have had two sections at two different hospitals and never saw a video. I am so confused why you are demanding this poster respond to you?

Well, let's see, darling; I told her to screw herself, SHE ASKED WHY, I told her...and my answer seems to have shut her up. So there you go.

I had two C-sections--1 emergency and 1 planned as I chose not to attempt VBAC--at Anne Arundel County Hospital in Maryland (Annapolis). Part of your check-out process it to watch a video and read literature about how to care for yourself/partner, what to watch out for (fever, tclots , these exact feelings of sadness and failure) so as to be prepared and on the lookout for problems and to know what to do if complications arise, etc.

If you read ANY BOOK about childbirth that includes info about C-sections, there are whole segments about these exact feelings...what with them being totally normal and part of the process for many people, and all!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My best friend tried a VBAC after a scheduled C section for a breech baby. She had some really fanciful notions about vaginal childbirth being some kind of empowering and beautiful experience she has missed out on and felt like she has failed in her first for having a section and was hell bent on trying for a vaginal birth. Some of her friends had had vaginal births tried to disavow her of these unrealistic expectations and to explain to her how painful and difficult the experience was but she wouldn’t hear it. She ended up having a long and painful labor and then a traumatic emergency C section which she said was far worse than the scheduled one. I think the only benefit she has now is that she can still run easily with no leaking or pelvic floor issues. But even after all that she still seems to think she missed out on something from not having a vaginal birth.

Screw you.

Why? If mom and baby are healthy and no one died or was permanently injured, WTF does it matter if baby came out of your belly instead of your lady bits? Plenty of vaginal births are horrific and injurious but the VBAC community refuses to hear that.

Are you really this uninformed? I knew even before I was ever pregnant that these kinds of thoughts and feelings are common to the C-section experience!

Let me drop this little fact on you: Feelings of loss, missing out, doing something wrong, failing, and not fulfilling "your job as a woman" ARE SO COMMON AND UNIVERSAL POST-C-SECTION THAT IT IS LITERALLY PART OF THE VIDEO THEY MAKE YOU WATCH WHEN YOU LEAVE THE HOSPITAL. It is literally part of any book about C-sections or birth experience. It's a totally normal, common, natural, nearly universal experience that doctors and scientists study it.

I note you have no response to the bolded. Hmm, wonder why?

Still waiting!

I am not that poster, but what video are you talking about? I have had two sections at two different hospitals and never saw a video. I am so confused why you are demanding this poster respond to you?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My best friend tried a VBAC after a scheduled C section for a breech baby. She had some really fanciful notions about vaginal childbirth being some kind of empowering and beautiful experience she has missed out on and felt like she has failed in her first for having a section and was hell bent on trying for a vaginal birth. Some of her friends had had vaginal births tried to disavow her of these unrealistic expectations and to explain to her how painful and difficult the experience was but she wouldn’t hear it. She ended up having a long and painful labor and then a traumatic emergency C section which she said was far worse than the scheduled one. I think the only benefit she has now is that she can still run easily with no leaking or pelvic floor issues. But even after all that she still seems to think she missed out on something from not having a vaginal birth.

Screw you.

Why? If mom and baby are healthy and no one died or was permanently injured, WTF does it matter if baby came out of your belly instead of your lady bits? Plenty of vaginal births are horrific and injurious but the VBAC community refuses to hear that.

Are you really this uninformed? I knew even before I was ever pregnant that these kinds of thoughts and feelings are common to the C-section experience!

Let me drop this little fact on you: Feelings of loss, missing out, doing something wrong, failing, and not fulfilling "your job as a woman" ARE SO COMMON AND UNIVERSAL POST-C-SECTION THAT IT IS LITERALLY PART OF THE VIDEO THEY MAKE YOU WATCH WHEN YOU LEAVE THE HOSPITAL. It is literally part of any book about C-sections or birth experience. It's a totally normal, common, natural, nearly universal experience that doctors and scientists study it.

I note you have no response to the bolded. Hmm, wonder why?

Still waiting!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My best friend tried a VBAC after a scheduled C section for a breech baby. She had some really fanciful notions about vaginal childbirth being some kind of empowering and beautiful experience she has missed out on and felt like she has failed in her first for having a section and was hell bent on trying for a vaginal birth. Some of her friends had had vaginal births tried to disavow her of these unrealistic expectations and to explain to her how painful and difficult the experience was but she wouldn’t hear it. She ended up having a long and painful labor and then a traumatic emergency C section which she said was far worse than the scheduled one. I think the only benefit she has now is that she can still run easily with no leaking or pelvic floor issues. But even after all that she still seems to think she missed out on something from not having a vaginal birth.

Screw you.

Why? If mom and baby are healthy and no one died or was permanently injured, WTF does it matter if baby came out of your belly instead of your lady bits? Plenty of vaginal births are horrific and injurious but the VBAC community refuses to hear that.

Are you really this uninformed? I knew even before I was ever pregnant that these kinds of thoughts and feelings are common to the C-section experience!

Let me drop this little fact on you: Feelings of loss, missing out, doing something wrong, failing, and not fulfilling "your job as a woman" ARE SO COMMON AND UNIVERSAL POST-C-SECTION THAT IT IS LITERALLY PART OF THE VIDEO THEY MAKE YOU WATCH WHEN YOU LEAVE THE HOSPITAL. It is literally part of any book about C-sections or birth experience. It's a totally normal, common, natural, nearly universal experience that doctors and scientists study it.

I note you have no response to the bolded. Hmm, wonder why?

Still waiting!

Anonymous wrote:I had a csection after 20 hours of labor with first. With the second i was determined to VBAC, since I felt like there was no good reason I should have had a Csection, other than stubborn baby position and laboring too long (water had broken, meconium leaking, minor distress). The C-section was very emotionally traumatic for me, a painful recovery, and also led to some secondary infertility issues. Did not want to go through that again. So I started prepping from the moment I became pregnant with second, including changing OB, finding a doula, reading all I could about birthing, going to a crunchy birth class, and visiting a prenatal chiropractor throughout pregnancy to help with baby position. Visited the hospital with the doula and interrogated all the nurses. Asked my provider tons and tons of questions. Got all my ducks in a row and made sure I had the right support team in place. It was a lot of work and time, but I'm thankful I did it. Had a successful VBAC in a hospital with no interventions (which was key for me - my goal was no help from the hospital other than catching the baby). It was hard, but wonderful, and I learned so much through the process. My recovery was great and it made life with a newborn so easy compared to my other experience.

With all that said, I have a family member have a successful VBAC at home with a midwife, but she basically became a midwife herself in the research process. She was fine. I personally would not be comfortable doing it outside of the hospital setting. As others have written, a lot could go wrong.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My best friend tried a VBAC after a scheduled C section for a breech baby. She had some really fanciful notions about vaginal childbirth being some kind of empowering and beautiful experience she has missed out on and felt like she has failed in her first for having a section and was hell bent on trying for a vaginal birth. Some of her friends had had vaginal births tried to disavow her of these unrealistic expectations and to explain to her how painful and difficult the experience was but she wouldn’t hear it. She ended up having a long and painful labor and then a traumatic emergency C section which she said was far worse than the scheduled one. I think the only benefit she has now is that she can still run easily with no leaking or pelvic floor issues. But even after all that she still seems to think she missed out on something from not having a vaginal birth.

Screw you.

Why? If mom and baby are healthy and no one died or was permanently injured, WTF does it matter if baby came out of your belly instead of your lady bits? Plenty of vaginal births are horrific and injurious but the VBAC community refuses to hear that.

Are you really this uninformed? I knew even before I was ever pregnant that these kinds of thoughts and feelings are common to the C-section experience!

Let me drop this little fact on you: Feelings of loss, missing out, doing something wrong, failing, and not fulfilling "your job as a woman" ARE SO COMMON AND UNIVERSAL POST-C-SECTION THAT IT IS LITERALLY PART OF THE VIDEO THEY MAKE YOU WATCH WHEN YOU LEAVE THE HOSPITAL. It is literally part of any book about C-sections or birth experience. It's a totally normal, common, natural, nearly universal experience that doctors and scientists study it.

I note you have no response to the bolded. Hmm, wonder why?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tried it. It didn’t work. After hours of labor I had a small uterine rupture/window but the end result was baby and I were both Ok even though it was scary. I think people who try at home are crazy.
I actually don’t regret trying. So many people told me how amazing Labor was and how I needed to experience it. Got that out of my system. No thanks! Went on to have four more c sections.

I'm sorry but you've had 6 c sections?

Yep. No issues with any except the VBAC attempt on pregnancy #2.
You can all save the drama with telling me how irresponsible it is. I had great medical care and we took each section one at a time, checking when they stitched me up how my scar and uterus looked. Was cleared to have another one if I wanted (I don’t).

Octomom

You’re not great at basic counting, are you?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tried it. It didn’t work. After hours of labor I had a small uterine rupture/window but the end result was baby and I were both Ok even though it was scary. I think people who try at home are crazy.
I actually don’t regret trying. So many people told me how amazing Labor was and how I needed to experience it. Got that out of my system. No thanks! Went on to have four more c sections.

I'm sorry but you've had 6 c sections?

Yep. No issues with any except the VBAC attempt on pregnancy #2.
You can all save the drama with telling me how irresponsible it is. I had great medical care and we took each section one at a time, checking when they stitched me up how my scar and uterus looked. Was cleared to have another one if I wanted (I don’t).

Octomom