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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]there are 4 kids at her table. the one next to her and across from her have behavior issues and are constantly talking. the one next to her always bumps her during class and distracts her. my dd has anxiety and this is stressing her out since the 2 kids are "tough". She wants to ask the teacher to move her but is also worried these 2 kids will retaliate against her. there was an incident last year when the one kid was making fun of my child hair. my kid is very quiet and non confrontational so she doesnt know what to do. [u]for any other kid, I would say suck it up.[/u] but this time, I really do want her moved. any advice?[/quote]

But not for yours?

Suck it up, she needs to learn to deal with life around people she doesn't like or who she's not comfortable around.[/quote]

This. In ES there was a couple of tough kids from one family. Inappropriate. Loud. Distracting. One parent complained about it after about a week and the kid was moved to my kid's table. The kid has to sit somewhere so I didn't complain about it. We talked about a) strategies for dealing and b) if it crosses a certain threshold, I will talk to the teacher (which I never had to do). This mom was going on and on about it at a happy hour, and how she had to have the kid moved away from her DD.=[/quote]

As an adult, if I am sitting on the metro and some moron sits next to me listening to their music without earbuds, I will move away because discussing it with him might not end well for me. a.kid in a class just cant get up and sit elsewhere. kids get plenty of experience navigating uncomfortable situations while in school but chronic interruptions by a kid that might be volatile need to be addressed and not tolerated. if you are ok with your kid sitting next to them, be my guest. [/quote]

Your analogy is off.  You can just avoid someone on the metro. In a public school, the students have to sit somewhere in the class. Even the annoying and inappropriate ones. [b]And you complaining about that kid being sat next to yours just makes other kids have to deal with it.[/b]

Also, from my Post, which you selectively referred to, I said that there were "thresholds" over which I would get involved. But, luckily, the strategies my child and I worked through helped her to be able to stand up for herself, and be a bit more resilient. I'm sorry yours is not.[/quote]

NP.  Well, yeah. And that's unfortunate.  But please explain to me why that's should be my, or my kid's problem.

This is a separate issue from whether Op should intervene - I for one think that her daughter should handle it, at least initially.  But I really don't get the "well, he has to sit somewhere" mentality.   Maybe there are kids who won't be bothered by his antics, and he can sit there.  Regardless, we want kids to self-advocate, but not in this instance?

At a minimum, she needs to register her displeasure so the teacher knows it when tables switch around.  [/quote]

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