Reply to UPenn's Head of counseling and psychological services commits suicide

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Here's the thing I struggle with understanding, and I mean this with kindness as my life's been touched by suicide too. Do you think it's possible for someone to just kind of lose control/snap and their body goes into autopilot and does it? Like as easily as I can lose my temper and raise my voice with my kids after a tough day/week. Or do you think it's always more intentional/thought-out? [/quote]

I think there are many different paths to suicide.

For some it is an impulsive action - often after a moment of humiliation, embarrassment or abandonment / rejection. Being intoxicated is another factors in impulsive actions. Feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, helplessness often are underlying. For example, suicide rates are higher after teen breakups.

For others it is the other end of the spectrum where it is a 'rational' decision. Something the person has thought very long and hard about and planned out and it is a very intentional. For example someone with a terminal illness who decides to end their life on their own terms.

For others it is more about mental illness and their mind takes them to a dark place where the light at the end of the tunnel gets further and further away.  Their thinking gets distorted and their reality is skewed. They may plan it out or snap but it is based on irrational and self depreciating thoughts that come with the illness.[/quote]

This is a really thoughtul post and spot on.

I was actively suicidal once in my life.   For me, I was most like example 3.  I was in deep post partum depression/anxiety following the birth of twins.  It went on for a few months and I began to detach from reality and become dissociated from my own self.  It was as if I was watching myself walk through life and didn't have full control over my actions.  It sounds odd but it was 100% my reality.  I couldn't trust myself not not to do something rash like jump in front of a bus.  The depression made me fantasize about doing it.  The scary feeling of dissociation made me think I was actually capable of it.  I actually had to remove myself from potentially harmful situations.  I spent A LOT of time around others because I felt unsafe alone with my own thoughts. [/quote]

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