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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Revenge is a dish best served cold. Wait until you find someone you lust after and keep it to yourself. Then you can smile all day long and he will be none the wiser. [/quote]

OP here.  I agree with this.  I am playing the long game.  He thinks I am interested in reconciling.  We have our nice talks and talk about the future going forward.  He is being super nice and caring.  But I know it is all BS.  He is a selfish entitled man child and no longer the person I fell in love with. He is scared to death to look bad in front of his kids, friends, and colleagues and losing a big chunk of money. It is going to be fun exposing him for the fraud that he is.[/quote]

Here’s the thing. It can be fun and cathartic to think about “exposing” him to everyone, but I’d advise you to think long and hard about the actual implications of that. First of all none of his coworkers will care, unless he had an affair with someone he supervises, and even then - would you want to risk him losing his job and your kids’ financial security? Friends don’t want to know the details of your marriage and they might wind up judging YOU. You really open yourself up to criticism or the sad truth that no one really cares as much as you do. Telling your kids is a stupid idea for obvious reasons.

It just isn’t going to be the big blowup you imagine where you look like the good one. [/quote]

Totally agree with this.  One of my business partners ex wife sent a company wide email about his cheating and the universal consensus was she looked crazy and it created a bit of empathy for him[/quote]

This and the previous post are definitely written by men.  You already think women are crazy to justify the sh*tty way you treat women.  After I take at least half of what we have I and the kids will be able to live comfortably for the rest of our lives.  If he losses the ability to earn more so be it.  That will affect him and his ego more than us.  I think it is important the kids understand what a fraud their father is.  They are old enough to understand.[/quote]

He isn’t a fraud.  He lost interest in you.   Go ahead and make your kids miserable in the interest of justice![/quote]

I am fine with the fact that he lost interest in me.  Instead of being a little boy he could have done the family the decency of owning that fact that he was not interested in me and we could have worked things out amicably.  But since he could not find his big boy pants he now has to face the consequences.  My kids will understand this.  They are old enough.[/quote]

Good luck! I posted originally and I’m just telling you from experience (and yes, I’m a woman) that no one really cares. He’s not a murderer. Affairs are very, very common. Might there be some initial embarrassment for him, sure, but again most people don’t care and some people will also judge YOU. There is no reveal that is going to satisfy your fantasy of coming out ahead here somehow.

What do you hope to achieve by the kids knowing? Do you think that the world is so black and white that they will hate him without reservation and you’ll be the “good” parent? The “winner”? It just doesn’t work that way. [/quote]

+ 1.   Guy and my ex cheated.  why are you thinking that being married to you was like the best thing ever and how dare he leave ! No one cares!   You  
can spend a lot of time and money rubbing your exes face in it.  But I think your kids will remember this and not his infidelity![/quote]

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